Victimized

First Day

Chapter 7

3 years later…

The first day of my senior year, I am back to a school with immature teenagers that all they have in their minds is what party am I going to get drunk at? Or who I’m going to have in bed? Me on the other hand, I have to worry about if I'm going to be on time from picking my almost 3 year daughter up from pre-school, and what time my work shift starts.

3 years ago I was with my friends talking about how we couldn’t wait to become seniors, and going to dances, prom, graduation, and boyfriends. Now I have my beautiful two and a half year daughter Sophia I need to take care of, and make sure I take the best care of her, I also have to go to therapy sessions 3 times a week.

I am still scared every time I go out, every time I come too close to a person or a group of people, especially guys. I can’t come in contact with anyone, even if it’s just a brush of a shoulder or a hand accidently I would finch and have a breakdown.

            The sound of my alarm clock hums, slid my finger across the phone to shut it off and look at the time, 6:15AM it read. I get up take a shower; once I'm done I go to my closet to pick out my outfit of the day. Ever since the day I got raped that night I changed my whole wardrobe instead of my fashionable clothes, they were replaced with baggy t-shirts, jeans and hoodies. I do this because I want to hide my body, I don’t want guys to look at my figure. I don’t want them thinking about my curves.

            After I’m done with all my morning duties, it’s already 7:00AM. I go to Sophia's room to wake her up to get ready for her first day back at pre-school. She looked so cute and peaceful sleeping I almost didn’t want to disturb her, but I knew I had to if we wanted to avoid being late for her school and mine.

“Sophia, wake up baby. You have to get ready for pre-school.” I whispered in her ear softly and placing a hand on her shoulder.

“No mommy…sleepy time now” she said. Sleep thick in her voice, as she rolled on her other side away from me.

“No baby, its wake up time right now. Come on, you still have to take a bath and get dressed… and get your little monster fed!” I said and started to tickle her little tummy, she squealed and giggle in glee and tried to squirm out of my hold. “Are you going to get up now? Or should I call the tickle monster again?”

“Okay mommy, I up.”

“That’s my baby girl. Okay, come on, let’s rubba dub, dub all the way to the tub.” I said grabbing her in my arms and spinning her above me as she giggled.

Once Sophia was all dry from her bath I wrapped her up in her Disney Princesses towel and carried her to her room.  Her room was decorated with Disney characters she liked; we had a shopping day just for her room; let’s just say if I said yes to everything she wanted she would have made me buy the whole Disney store.

After getting Sophia dressed in some cute pair of white shorts, with a navy blue and white short sleeved shirt and a pair of white with thick blue glittery strips on them. She looked so adorable; I only dress my daughter in the nicest clothes. 

We walked downstairs together to make breakfast together. My mom was in the kitchen already starting preparing it. She had everything out on the counter, I walked over to her and gave her a small hug and a kiss one the cheek. I have been doing better with my physical contact issues but it was only with my mom, Madison and Sophia of course.

“Good morning, mom.”

“Good morning, sweetheart” she replied

“Morning, Nana!” Sophia said as she ran past me and towards my mom giving her a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek.