Victimized

Deep Ocean Blue Eyes

Chapter 6

Few weeks later…

I heard crying coming from the other side of my small bedroom. I woke up, pulled the warm comfortable blanket off of me and walked across the room like a zombie towards the crib that was in the corner of my room.

Once I arrived I looked down to see my little bundle of joy crying her eyes out waiting for me to give her the attention she needs. I bent down to pick her up and walked back towards my bed once I sat down. I tried to sooth her to stop her from crying, but it didn’t help.

I checked if her diaper needed changing, then I checked if her cloths were making her uncomfortable, I put my index finger close to her mouth and instantly she grabbed my finger with her tiny hands and started to suck on it. I got up from my bed and made my way down stairs to the kitchen to make her bottle.

Once I fed her and burped her she calmed down I walked into the living room. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep. I watched TV while Sophia was giggling in her own little world.

“What are you giggling about? Is it because mommy has crazy hair?” I asked her in a baby voice. All she did was giggle.

Sophia was now 5 weeks old; it has been super difficult taking care of her. I get no sleep at night, and I have to work during the day. Sophia is left with my mom for the time being since she is on her vacation time.

Sophia has been growing quickly. Her brown and blond hair is longer and it goes up to the end of her ear. She has my lips and hair, but she has her father’s deep ocean blue eyes, the eyes that still haunt me till this very day and probably for the rest of my life. I can’t look her in the eye without having a reminder of what the man with those eyes did to me just over a year ago. She also has his nose I presume.

“Why did you have to have his taunting eyes?” I asked Sophia, as if I expected her to answer my question.

After half an hour or so I slowly started to fall asleep I looked to see Sophia sleeping peacefully in my arms I set her down in her beanbag chair and buckled her in.

        The last few months I have been going to a therapist to talk about my ‘feelings’ towards what happened the night. So far I haven’t said anything about that night, and I could see the therapist is very annoyed he just sits there and stares at me, and I just sit and stare back. There are some rare occasions he would get a little about life and how I have been dealing with everything, and Sophia.

        So far my job is okay. I work at an animal shelter/pet supplies/pet sitting. I love working there the women that owns it is so sweet. I have been working there two weeks after Sophia was born. Betty, the store owner, has met Sophia and she loves Sophia and same goes for Sophia with Betty. The job requires a lot of patients, love, gentleness, standing and chasing. After my first day I on the job I was so tired, wet and smelled like wet dog. Some dogs don’t like to be bathed and tend to jump out of the tub all wet and soapy and them jump on you and dry themselves on you. But after months of practice I got the hang out it.

Now all I have on is: 1) being the best mother ever to Sophia and 2) pray for an accident to make me forget the horrid night or just try and get over it. Wish me luck.

Author’s note:

I hate this chapter I am having writers block and I can’t think of anything to write for it so I started to blab on useless stuff. But I promise the next chapter will be better.