Just Kidding

Happily

Taylor.

"He said let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowd." I sang into the mic. "I thought heaven can't help me now, nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down. He's so tall and handsome as hell. He's so bad but he does it so well. I can see the end as it begins...."

After I finished recording, Max clapped and praised me for how well I did.

"So I was thinking, what if we made it a slow song, but it speeds up near the end to really throw in the passion?" He looked at me with wide eyes.

"I think the piano is good enough?" I mumbled.

"Taylor, we don't want people to fall asleep. We want them to jam and feel the need to shake their fingers to the songs, not kill themselves." he deadpanned.

"Max!" I laughed and hit his arm. "Let's just try it first."

I got back in the booth and sang the song slow at first. When I finished singing the first chorus, Max told me to try something bolder near the end. I couldn't help getting a bit emotional near the chorus.

I haven't talked to Harry in a month. A whole thirty days, hell. He has tried to call me and he's come by my apartment, leaving notes and flowers.
I'm not mad at him anymore, it's more of an anxiety issue. I don't want to fall in love with him because the day that they tell us to break up, I can't keep him for myself. He is gone and off with some other girl.

What would I be left with? I'll have a million haters or a bunch of sympathizers, a new record, a bunch of tour dates...but no Harry. That's what sucks most.

"In your wildest dreams, aha-ha." I set the headphones on the mic and walked out of the booth.
"That was good Taylor! It's pretty late, I'm gonna head out. Have a good evening." he shut off all of the equipment and grabbed his coat. "Call him!" He yelled before leaving the building for good.

I groaned and sat in the chair next to the sound board. I debated whether or not calling him would effect my life in a positive way or if I'm just tearing myself down.

Screw it.

I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. He answered on the third ring and it almost sounded like he was smiling. I asked him if he wanted to talk and he told me to be ready for him to pick me up in twenty minutes. Then we got off the phone and I took a deep breath to prepare myself for crashing and burning, yet again.

I grabbed my purse and left the building, sitting outside and waited for Harry. I picked up a news paper that was on the bench.

"Welcome to New York," I read the top of the page. "The city of lights?" I read. I looked up, seeing one flickering light post across the street. Right next to the post was a couple holding hands and smiling at each other.

They are totally in love and happy with each other. I wonder if any of them are secretly dating one of the biggest names in music but he's an ass so she has to put up with it for another four months because she loves her job and her dumbass manager doesn't care about her well being?

I made the awkward face at my thoughts and looked away from them. I started singing random songs to pass the silence. Then Harry pulled up. His headlights were shut off and the tinted windows seem to get darker every time I see his car.

The car shut off and I heard the door slam. Harry appeared at the back of the car and walked to the passenger side. He smiled at me before opening the door. I was impressed that he remembered my rule after so long.

What am I saying?! It's been one month, just thirty days, not like four years.

Oh god, but it's felt that way.

I shook my thoughts and stepped into his car, buckling myself up. He shut the door after giving me a swift (see what I did there) kiss on my cheek, and ran around to the drivers side.

"I think we should distance ourselves from each other." I was the first to speak. Harry stopped moving and looked at me. I didn't look at him. I felt claustrophobic just seeing his glare out of the corner of my eye. "It's good for us to remember what this really is." I continued.

"Bull shit." he snapped.

"Harry!" I scolded him for his language.

"I don't care. This isn't fair." he whined.

"This is what I want, Harry." I threw that in his face because at the beginning he said he'd do whatever I wanted that made me comfortable. Wow, I really just sounded like a spoiled brat whining to daddy.

"Yeah okay." After he said that the car fell silent.

I didn't know what to say? What do you say in a situation like this? One person doesn't want to be together while thats all the other person wants.

Well I guess, I don't not want to be with Harry. I really feel strongly about him and we've only dated for two months, barely, I just......

"I'm scared, Harry." I admit after we get onto the dead road. We usually come here to get away from people and spotlight. This was like our place to go.

"Of what? You know I'd never hurt you." He glanced at me.

"But you will." I turn towards him. "It's inevitable. By the end, we will just be a memory of what was and maybe sometime in the future just another past relationship. It's not about hurting me on purpose, it's just going to happen." I frown.

"What if you hurt me?" He asked, his voice low and shaky.

"I probably will." I shrug. "It's just better if we cut it off before anything happened."

"Taylor, I don't know if you noticed but things have happened. You took my necklace, you met my friends and sister, I've kidnapped you, we've fought like a couple," he laughed in disbelief. "Besides you don't have sex with someone after three weeks and not have something." he said so nonchalantly. I hid my face in my hands out of embarrassment and smiled to mostly myself.

"Things have happened and it's too late to cut it off unless you want to feel empty for the rest of your life." He scoffed.

"Empty? What makes you think I'm empty without you?" I furrowed my eyebrows and tried not to be obvious about my smirk.

"Girl, I rock your world." he smirked as well. We both looked at each other and then burst into a fit of laughter. Harry pulled over on the side of the road and shut the car off. "Seriously, Taylor, don't do this." he rested his arm across the back of my seat. He leaned in closer, slowly waiting for me to lean back, glancing between my lips and eyes.

I closed my eyes and leaned forward, finally feeling some type of spark as his lips touched mine. Instead of being warm and tasting like mint, Harry's lips were cold and a little cracked.

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things?