Just Kidding

Night Changes

||awe.||

Taylor.

I started humming to myself as Liam and Harry talked in the front seat. They were talking about their writing careers.

I was laying down in the backseat, pretending to be asleep. When Harry offered to sit beside me the whole way, I told him it would be better if he were up with Liam to help him navigate and then I really stretched and told him I needed plenty of sleep so I wasn't grumpy the whole trip.

Even though I know that's all I will be.

I'm so stupid for leaving him, in a bar, with a swarm of sweaty girls, and a horny DJ playing sexy songs. I'm an absolute idiot for even agreeing to go. If we would have just taken Matt's advice and went home...

So many things could have been prevented.

Ed. I should call him. I trust Ed enough and he has no filter so if something else did happen between Kendall and Harry, Ed would tell me.

Instead of calling him, since I will be around Harry the entire week, I texted him.

'hey Ed, I have a serious question to ask you and I need you to be 100% honest with me, okay?'

After I hit send, I started typing my one and only question. I kept deleting the text and restarting, not exactly knowing how to ask in a way that I don't sound completely pathetic.

Before I could finish the text, Harry turned around and immediately smiled at me. "You're awake." He took a deep breath and looked at Liam. "We're here."

I sat up and fixed my hair, tying it up into a ponytail. Harry thanked Liam for the millionth time since we left the apartment. When Harry got out of the car after Liam parked, Liam stopped me from getting out.

"You'll call me right? If anything happens?" He put his hand on my leg, in a comforting gesture. I smiled and nodded my head, praying to god nothing will happen.

I thanked Liam and got out of the car to help Harry with our bags. Three of Harry's bodyguards came out, along with mine, and escorted us (helped us with our bags as well) through the airport so nobody noticed us.

When we got to our gate, the flight attendant opened the door right away. We walked through and sat in our seat. There were only a few seats up here. Just enough for Harry and me, the bodyguards, and an attendant. We were taking a private plane?

"Are you ready?" Harry asked with a giant smile on his face. This is killing me, I finally have to ask him.

"Harry?" I looked at him. He looked back at me and I suddenly felt very aware of how many people were actually in this cabin. "Can you follow me out to the.." I tried looking for a secluded area. I didn't want to go into the bathroom because..ew. Plus, it was too small of a space and I did not want to be that close to Harry right now.

After finding a little spot in the "kitchen" area, Harry and I got up. When he got there, I shut the curtain.

"Why are you so excited for this trip?" I asked him. It still shocked me, shocked me, that he doesn't remember last night. How drunk did he get? I wonder if Kendall remembers?

"We haven't had a time to ourselves for a while. Finally, I have enough stability that I can do this. Plus, the hotel is letting us..." I stopped listening to him.

I couldn't stop picturing them together. Her hands in his hair, his lips on her neck, her legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on her- My brains fills with images of what would've happened if I didn't stop them. It made me sick.

And just like that, I was running away from Harry and into the bathroom. I didn't have time to lock the door. Instead I crumbled to the ground like a granola bar, and spewed everything in the toilet. I couldn't help myself from crying at this point. I had overdosed on thinking it this time.

When I was throwing up in the toilet, I heard someone come in. I saw the shoes and I cried harder. Harry took my hair out of my pony tail, and rearranged it to something on top of my head.

"Go away." I cried, my face still in the toilet. "Don't look at me."

"Taylor, are you okay? Should we cancel this trip?" He sounded concerned. A wave of guilt washed over me and I found myself throwing up again. I don't know what I had to throw up. I haven't eaten anything.

"I'm okay." I lied. "I'm just feeling a little nauseous. I'll be okay." I tried to smile. Smile for myself and smile for Harry. If I believed it, it will come true.

Maybe I should just cancel this whole trip with Harry, I'll just be bringing him down with me if I stay with him.

"Okay. Well we are about to take off. Should I leave?" He asked, his hand still on my back. I wanted to push his hand off of me and lock him out of the bathroom. But my heart was asking for something else..

"Would you do me a favor and bring me my toiletry bag?" I asked him in my sweetest voice possible. He left me and walked out of the bathroom. I took the chance to collect myself.

I flushed the toilet and wiped my face with some toilet paper. I am a mess. There's nothing worse than feeling like shit and looking like shit as well.

Harry came back and handed me my bag. He tried to kiss my forehead but I turned away and dug around my bag for my toothbrush. I pulled it out and turned around, expecting Harry to still be here.

He wasn't.

When he left he had shut the door and I rushed to lock it so no one else would come in.

After brushing my teeth, I sat on the cold floor and took out my phone. I typed what I was thinking into my notes. Once I couldn't think anymore, I decided I've been in here long enough and that I should go back to my seat.

||Awe.||
||I mean, omg Taylor you're being soooooooooo dramatic. Chill out my gosh.||