i can't lose her

No… This can’t be. Sienna has breast cancer. I could feel the lump in my throat rise and I started to struggle to breathe. I can’t lose Sienna. This cannot be happening. I need my best friend. I just need her. I cannot lose her. I started to feel the water come out of my eyes. No Harry, you will not cry. You’re so much stronger than this.

I got my phone out, trying not to tremble from the news I just received. I had to call someone to come here. I needed a friend right now more than ever. I needed Sienna. But most importantly, I needed Louis, the closest thing I have to a brother.

I rang him, and after a few seconds he picked up the phone.

‘’ Louis, I need you to come here to Presbyterian Emergency Medical Services, please ‘’ I said, trying so hard not to cry.

‘’ Whoa whoa whoa, Harry, what’s wrong? I’ll be there in 10 minutes. But what’s wrong? ‘’ He said, sounding genuinely worried.

‘’ Sienna ‘’ and in saying that… I hung up.

I called up Louis 20 minutes ago, and he still wasn’t here. I couldn’t keep my mind off Sienna. I was so worried about her. It’s like finally everything in my life was going perfectly, and now it’s all just slipped away. I knew everything was too good to be true. 10 minutes later, Louis finally arrived. ‘’ Hey buddy, are you alright? He asked.

I looked at Louis and immediately broke down crying. I sat down on one of the waiting room chairs, and put my head between my hands. I couldn’t keep the tears from pouring out. I started rocking back and forth without even realizing it.  I couldn’t keep the tears from flowing out. ‘’ Louis ‘’ I said, barely letting it come out, sounding more like a whisper. Louis put his arm gently on my shoulder, I sniffled. ‘’ Louis, I can’t lose her. I can’t let the one good thing in my life slip away. I can’t let the one thing that gives me a reason to wake up in the morning, just leave. I can’t. Louis, I am in love with Sienna and if she passed away… I’d die too. Just for the simple fact that she won’t be there comforting me, and that Sienna shaped hole in my heart, will grow increasingly’’.

 I looked down at the ground, knowing that if I looked at Louis, I will break down even more. Louis shifted over and put his arm around my back, ‘’ Harry, I know this isn’t easy, I know every day is going to be struggle for you if you do lose her, but have you ever thought that maybe Sienna could get through it all? Maybe when she has the treatment, she’ll be healthier than ever and she’ll be fine, but no matter the outcome, the boys and I will be here for you. Zayn, Niall, Liam and I will be here for you, through it all. We’re just a phone call away ‘’ he said, giving me a gentle squeeze.

That’s the thing though; with cancer there is no way of knowing whether or not the outcome will be good or bad. I guess it’s just a waiting game, but what if the outcome is that Sienna will pass away?