i can't lose her

he'll have a happy ending even if i dont

‘’ We got the results back and the results show that you are two weeks pregnant ‘’.

I stared at the doctor with disbelief. ‘’ B-b-but how could I be pregnant? I have cancer? Won’t that effect the birth of my kid? Plus is it even possible to have a kid while you’re dying? ‘’ I asked, not realizing I was out of breath. I started hyperventilating. What if because I have cancer, my baby turns out with a disorder? Or what if the baby is premature? A million thoughts came flooding into my head. I started to feel the room spin. I fell into Harry’s chest. I can’t go through the risk of having my kid be born with a disorder, or even with it dying, because whether I like to believe it or not, my kid will most likely have something wrong with it because what’s killing me could be killing the baby too.

I got up and walked out of the room. I needed fresh air. What’s meant to be the happiest moment in my life is actually the worst. I won’t be there to see my baby grow up, take its first steps, get its first tooth. I won’t be there when they need advice on relationships, or on what to wear. I won’t be there for any of that and it’s killing me. I won’t be there when my kid gets married and makes a life of their own. I won’t be there for any of it. They won’t know me, and when Harry re-marries and finds another woman, that kid will then be my child’s new mummy.

I leant against the railing outside the hospital, I don’t know if I’m physically strong enough to do this. I felt a pair of strong, familiar arms wrap around my waist. He buried his head on my shoulder, he leaned his head so it was against my neck and whispered ‘’ I know it’s hard baby, I do. I know that it’s going to be a struggle to have it, but when you’re gone, I will be the best damn father this kid will ever have. I will be its hero, it’s everything. I will never make them forget their beautiful, brave mother who has been taken away from us too early. I will be strong, and I will raise the baby the way it is meant to be raised. I love you ‘’.

I turned around so we were face to face. ‘’ Harry Edward Styles, I love you so much. Thank you for everything. You’re going to make an amazing dad to our little baby ‘’. I kissed him so passionately that people from a few blocks away, could feel how much I loved him and how much lust I had. I know it’s going to be hard, with everything going on, but I’m sure that my baby will be fine. Thanks to its amazing dad Harry, I’m sure this kid will be just as amazing as its father is.

With that, I looked at the boy I’m so in love with and I knew that he will have his happy ending in the end, even if I don’t.