Wake Up Call (English) #Wattys2016

A sober wreck

I rented me a hotel a little further away, it wasn't long and I had also taken the car.

"Oh my god, I hate you!" I screamed at myself in the mirror the next day, as soon as I had gotten myself into the room, I had literally collapsed into bed and fell asleep.

I brought my hand through my hair angrily staring myself in the eye.

"I hate you!" I screamed again, tears ran down my cheek as I said the words I knew weren't true.

I picked up the phone when I heard it started ringing, it was him. I looked at the screen, should I take it? Should I answer him and hear the pathetic excuse of his? I pressed reply.

"Alex? I'm sorry, okay? You there?" I didn't answer and looked down at the phone, I had put it on speaker. But in the end I had to sniff to not let my nose run.

"I'm so sorry ... I really am! Please come back home, I was a dickhead!" I laughed briefly, but sobbed again while I wiped the tears. "I was a stupid, and I was drunk and a bunch of other shit. I don't even remember what I was on ... I was high, drunk and a motherfucking asshole ... PLEASE come back home? I wish I could come get you, but you took the car ..." He laughed briefly, I heard he sniffled softly.

"Aren't you supposed to be on tour ...." I said finally, he breathed out quietly.

"I was, but it was pushed a little. I ain't leaving until tonight ..." He answered, I sighed briefly and took the phone my ear.

"I'm coming over, okay. BUT, we need to talk about what happend. Aig-Okay?" I cough briefly and sighed, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, great."  He said, I heard he sniffed again.

"Bye." I said and didn't wait for him to say goodbye back before I hung up.

___________________

I stood outside the door thinking over what the outcome of what I would say would be.

Would he accept it and try?

Or would he get angry and throw me out?

Whatever the outcome, I must say it and we need it both ... Whether we want it or not, and I have to be honest and say I neither agreed nor disagreed.

I breathed out and opened the door, Marshall came to the doorway in front of me with big eyes.

His hair stood out to all sides and he was shirtless, no one said anything and looked at each other intensely. Finally I dropped his gaze and looked at the floor.

"... Hi ..." I said, he said nothing and before I knew it, he hugged me. I was initially a bit shocked, but hugged back. This was yet another thing we both needed.

"I'm so sorry!" He said into my hair, I sighed and pushed him a little away. He met my gaze sad, I looked him in the eyes sad myself.  I felt a few tears squeezed on, he got tears in his eyes too. He knew what I was going to say. "No ... NO ..." he said and shook his head while I looked at the floor.

"We have to talk ... "I said, he nodded sad, but didn't answer before he took his head and moaned quietly as he sniffled.

I met his eyes and he looked into my eyes serious.

"I love you." I said, he's eyes got big, he wasn't prepared for that.

"I love you too." He said back, I smiled at him easily before I continued.

"Exactly." I said, he was a question mark and pulled back slightly.

"What? What do you mean?"

"We love eacother, but I can't do this ... You scare me half to death almost everyday! Maybe we are meant to be ... Some day."

".. Alex, please--"

"You know it's the truth. You have to get clean before we can ever go out! Or else I'll be a nervous wreck all the time!" He looked at me quietly. "This isn't a break-up, okay? It's more like ... Like a break. Like a pause..."

"... So ... Like, friends?" He asked, scratching his head nervously, I smiled easily to him.

"Friends." I agreed and nodded to him, he met my gaze.

"Just ... Aigh't ... Just one quick thing ... Or two. You're not moving anywhere right?"

"No." I confirmed.

"Great. I need a baby sitter." He joked, I laughed while I wiped the tears away. "Second ... One last time..."  He said and pulled me against him one last time...