Wake Up Call (English) #Wattys2016

Know that I loved you first...

I stared into the wall, he looked at me quietly and coughed briefly.

"Did ... Are you hurt, did I hurt you?" He asked gently.

Obviously! You hurt me! You just broke up with me! I love you, you fucking idiot, and I know what you'll do !!! You'll sleep with somebody random while I'm going to sit in a corner alone and just know what you are doing !! I won't be able to think about anything else!

"Of course, but I understand ..." I muttered, lie. "Can you just leave me alone, Marshall ..." He nodded and stood up, he looked at me sad and walked toward the door. "Are we on a break or did you break up with me." I said quickly, he stopped.

"I wouldn't call it a break up, I still love you and I want to get back together with you, but I just can't do any relationship at the moment ..." he said without meeting my gaze, I looked into his back with tears in my eyes.

No ... If you're gonna do what you've said, I didn't want us to just have a break, it will hurt just as bad as if you did it while we were together and were unfaithful to me. It would feel just as bad, I'm waiting for you, but I don't want to know that you wait for me while you fuck a random whore ...

"Marshall, I can't take this. I dated Brian in our last break..." I looked up at him as he turned and met my gaze. "I love you, I do ... But if this is happening ... I wanna ..." I tried to stifle my sobs.

Here I am, he wants to have a break, I want to break up although I don't really want to... Why is love so hard !!!

"If love hadn't been complicated, having someone calling you yours wouldn't have that much meaning ...."

"You wanna break up, properly ..." He completed, now I could hear his voice trembled slightly, he also, he'd become a completely different person when I mentioned Brian ... I nodded and looked up at him, he had some tears in his eyes now. "I don't want to ..." He said sobbing. "I love you, I don't wanna lose you ... What if you date Brian !?"

And what about you!? WHAT'S ABOUT YOU AND YOUR DAMN WHORES !!!

"If I date Brian again, we're not meant to be ... We just have to trust eachother." I said, he looked at the floor and nodded briefly with a sniff. This is actually happening ... Marshall and I ... He looked up and met my gaze.

"I don't wanna break up with you ..." He said again, then ... Then ... Then I have to do it ...

I don't want to ... But I wouldn't want him to know I know what he's going to do, I won't let him know I heard the conversation between him and Royce, I won't ... I won't lose him .. .

"You'll always be my Whiteboy, y'know that ..." I said, he said nothing and looked at me sad. "Forever best buddies, right?" He nodded.

"Forever ... You mean the world to me ..." he said and swallowed hard. "You're gonna do it, ain't you ..." I looked up at him with eyes full of tears.

"It's the best Marshall ..." I sobbed. "For both of us ... I'm gonna miss everything about you, and it's gonna tear me apart every day, but--"

"Please don't say you'll move on ... Please don't, Alex ..." He said, I looked at him sad.

"If I do, know that I loved you first ..." He got tears in his eyes. "But ... It's the best ... I ..." I looked down at my hands.

"You're the one that I love ... And I'm saying goodbye ..."

"I break up with you ..." I spat out and looked up at him, he was completely frozen. He didn't move a muscle, but eventually he nodded.

"Yeah ... It's for the best ..." he said and wiped a tear trickling down his cheek.

"I'm still your best friend right?" I asked sad, I immediately regretted it.

"Of --- Of course ..." he choked. "One of them..." he said and turned his back to me, I stood up and walked over to him quietly.

"It's okay, whiteboy ..." I said, trying to soothe him, though I needed comfort myself and was just waiting for him to leave me and go over to someone else ... He turned his head halfway toward me, before he looked back at the door out of the room.

"Don't ever leave me, Whitegirl ..." he said quietly.

"Never ..." I replied, feeling my chest tied together as I leaned against his back and let my hands rest on his back, felt his hot skin brushing against my fingers, which I assumed would be the last time for a long while ... He turned to me slowly, I didn't let my hands drop and let them brush around him until they lay on his chest. I looked up into the eyes, the blue eyes that always gave me joy and hopes when they were so close to me ... Crushed. Destroyed. Was what I felt now. He brought one hand into mine and braided our fingers together and lifted our hands up, he looked up at our hands. I looked up them too, he had lifted our hands up in the sunlight, he stroked his thumb over my hand gently before we both looked away from our hands and met the glances to each other.

He looked at me sad and let go of my hand and slowly turned around with his back to me and walked toward the door. He pulled his hair with one hand as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. (GIF) Once the door was closed, I fell slowly into a small ball.

"Without you, I'm nothing ... It doesn't matter if we're still friends ... I don't have you the way I want to and that hurts like hell ..."

I pulled the pillow in my bed to me and pushed my face into it while I sobbed and chocked loudly.

"I can't get over you, you left your mark on me ..."

I stood up and sprinted to the bathroom, locked the door behind me with tears in my eyes and stared into the eyes of myself with big, sorrowful eyes.

"If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this ..."

I hit the mirror, I looked digusting.

"Ouch!" It shattered by my punch and a shard cut me over the arm. I looked down at the blood that came out of the wound.

"We all get addicted to something that takes away the pain ..."

Fuck...