Suffocate In Spirit - Shadows of the Night 4

Chapter 28

Hi!

Okay, the bad news first: I won't be able to post on Sunday (going on holiday, yeah!). The good news? I decided to do what I can and at least post part of the chapter :-)

I hope you like it! More to come once I'm back!

Lara

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Chapter 28

There were people I cared for, places I needed to be. There were so many things I needed to set right. I still had a debt to be repaid, scores to settle. But there was a burning need to find out where I came from and what life with the Lumenis entailed.

Would I find answers to the string of questions I carried with myself since I was a little girl? Could this village become a place I could call home? Sanctuary.

Doubt lingered in my mind. Even though I was born in their midst, I wasn't part of the Lumenis.

This was one of the moments I felt it more than anytime else. I was staring at the hardened face of Luca. Beads of sweat clung to my forehead like diamonds to an extravagant dress. I didn't feel extravagant in the least. It was unusually warm for the season, and the fragile tent of shadows the trees were providing did little to lessen the heat.

Giuliana was somewhere beside us, arms crossed in front of her in a calm posture, watching us. Or should I say me?

"Can we take a time out?" I said, getting another mouthful of pine tree scent and drops of sweat.

I saw the movement from the corner of my eye. Giuliana was shaking her head. "No. First I want you to do what I told you. Use the element properly."

I glared at her. Had I really felt a connection to this woman when she showed up on my doorstep in New York? Where was it? Had I deluded myself into believing something just because I wanted it to be real?

In the last few days I learned more about the interplay of elements and the way magic worked than I could handle. But the questions that truly mattered were left untouched. Knowing was one thing. But doing it myself? Theory and practice were farther apart than I liked – particularly when it came to using other elements.

"I've used earth before," I said hotly.

"Maybe you did. But you didn't use it properly. From what you've told us all you've done so far is push through with brute force," she said. "You didn't know what you were doing."

Brute force.

Inwardly I snorted. Luca tried to explain to me the use of earth magic for what had to be two hours. Annoyance factor? Ten. Progress? Zero. Unless you counted lifting a piece of wood for three seconds, which I actually did with air magic.

I tried, I really did, but even I had my limits.

"Look, this is not going to get us anywhere," I began. I didn't even get to make my point.

The forest around me shifted and moved in one heartbeat. Roots tore through the earth like hands reaching for the sky in quick beat succession. The sounds went off with the sharpness of a machine gun. My eyes went back to Luca, the focal point of all this magic. He didn't even look like he was trying very hard. Luca had complete control over his element.

"Close your eyes. Breathe in. Get a feel for all that is around you. You won't be able to control the element if you can't feel it," Luca said. "You used it before, didn't you? Remember what it felt like back then." His Southern accent was rich, words clipped and rushed. When we started training he made an effort at trying to speak Italian in an untainted version – the kind of use that is being taught at schools; the kind a tourist or an imbecile might still get. Now he didn't even grant me that.

Not that I could really blame him.

I stared at Luca, surrounded by moving, writhing plants that were practically dancing to his magic. I remembered the last time I used earth magic, which wasn't really that long ago. I remembered the first time too. That was at the clearing in Boyd Park, after Alexander was-

Muscles tensed and locked up. White noise bleeped in my head, like a familiar song. It was a diversionary tactic I'd perfected ever since I was stranded here. It wasn't going to fail me now.

Just don't go there. Focus.

What did it feel like then? What triggered all those magical outbursts? I was panicked. Maybe desperate. Thinking you're close to dying will do that to you. Not like I could use that as reference.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Here goes nothing.

At first all I could hear was my own breathing, the hum of my core and the centre of my magic. I could sense it clearly, almost like real outlines and shapes I could touch with more than my hand. Air rippled and moved around me, power-streaked feathers brushing my skin, urging me to make use of them. But they were not what I wanted. I retreated, redirected, pushed my awareness into other channels and directions.

The magical blue-print vanished in front of my eyes. A long moment of blindness.

Other sensations began to register. Sounds. Smell. The forest around me came to life. Leaves rustling in the wind, the small rip rip of movement in the underground – animals and insects, alive and vibrant in the afternoon glow of the sun. I let my mind wander, opened my senses to whatever magic lay around me.

And then I caught a glimpse of it. It was there. The barest scrap of magic that wasn't air. A complicated sea of power, auras shimmering and moving behind my eyes like a second layer of reality. Not the real thing, but ... close.

I reached out to get a feel for Luca's magic, but it was as if my fingers were scraping on thin air. Whatever I was seeing, I couldn't unlock or decode it, couldn't use it. All I could do was look and watch.

Finally I shook my head. "I can't. I'm sorry. I just don't know how."

I saw the look on Giuliana's eyes and wished I hadn't. Disapproval and concern.

She uncrossed her arms and nodded to Luca. "We'll stop here for today. You go ahead. I need to have a word with Anna, alone."

Luca winked at me. "See you later, cara."

The rest of the men left with silent grunts and mumblings, scraps of Italian I had trouble understanding – not that I necessarily wanted to. From the sound of it, what they said wasn't very flattering. The way they saw it I just wasted another hour of their precious, secluded lives.

Staring at their retreating backs was better than facing Giuliana, but there was only so much procrastinating I could do. The moment came when I had to look. Maybe because the silence between us was becoming too awkward and too uncomfortable. Maybe out of the desire to know if that disappointed look I'd seen on her face was still there.

The want, the need to please, was it there, even for someone like Giuliana?

My eyes went to her face, and I heard myself draw in a sharp breath. The look. It was still there. Only much more complicated than I believed it to be the first time I saw it.

Wordlessly, and slowly, she cocked her head, motioning for me to follow her.