The phone call we never had

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Hey
Is now a good time?
I just wanted to call
I missed talking to you
I haven't heard your voice in so long
It sounds as lovely as the videos I replay
Or as the memories in my head
It sounds American too, but that's not your fault
I have so much I want to say, but none of it feels like the right time
It all feels so hard, so heavy. I can't say it all at once but I don't know where to begin.
I guess I'll start with, I miss you. I want to see you. I hope I can someday. And if I don't, just know I'll dream of you every night, I'll think of you every day, and you'll be the first person I look for at the pearly gates.
Yours,
-SH

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