The Newbreeder

Chapter 33

Amaya

 
We aren't any closer to discovering who "we" is. Christian arrived in the pack two days after us, and we were able to question the small group of rogues that the guards had caught. They all refused to tell us anything—not even their names—which made the whole process harder.

I rarely saw Jasper. When Christian arrived, we all talked about what we needed from Jasper and his pack while we were here, but that was all. Everywhere he goes, Chloe follows. It gives me more reason to stay away from him. I want to be around him, and I know he wants to be around me, too, but we both know we shouldn't.

The pack seemed so much bigger before I left, but now I feel like I can't go anywhere without someone being around the corner. I needed somewhere I could go to collect myself—somewhere I hold close to my heart. I went to the only place I knew was sacred enough for me to lay down my worries and doubts.

I walked through the palace to reach the brick bridge. On each side, there were multiple cutouts with window gates that ran down the sides of the bridge walls. At the end of the walkway, there was just one door—a door that led to a room I hadn't entered since I first arrived.

I pushed open the door to the room that held stone statues towering hundreds of feet above me. I stared at the one in the center—Selene, the goddess of the moon and creator of shifters. They had a similar building in the Capitol open for everyone to visit, where not only the goddess of the shifters but also those of witches were honored. I circled the room, looking at the other goddesses illuminated by the glass ceiling.

Artemis, the goddess of the wilderness, the hunt, and wild animals.
Hecate, the goddess of magic, witchcraft, and the night.
Aphrodite, the goddess of love, lust, beauty, and pleasure.

They formed a semicircle with Selene at the center, and standing before her reminded me of the conversation I'd had with Jasper.

"I was wrong."

I turned to see Jasper entering the space with me. He wore a white button-up shirt, untucked from his black pants. The sleeves were rolled to his elbows, and a few buttons were undone—an outfit I had seen him in many times while he was fulfilling his duties as Alpha.

"About?" I asked as he walked up to me, keeping his distance—something I had to remind myself to do often.

"You weren't a newbreeder. You were one of us all along," he said with a hint of pride in his voice.

I smiled and turned back to the goddess standing before me. Jasper came to stand beside me, and we stayed in silence.

"Do you think they truly rule over our lives?" I asked. Many people in Eardwulf believe that the gods and goddesses plan out our lives before we're born, while others believe they give us choices that determine what happens to us.

"I wanted to believe they were all-knowing. That if I were good, they would bless me with a good life," he said, looking up at the statue.

"What changed?" I asked, turning to face him.

"The gods took away my mother. Then they took away my mate," he said quietly. He turned to look at me after I didn't respond. Jasper had told me about his mother and the story with his father. He was suffering the same fate.

"You could learn to love Chloe," I suggested. Jasper's face darkened; his brows furrowed, and his lips pressed into a hard line.

"What?" he exclaimed.

"It doesn't have to be a death sentence. Your father learned to love Marie—you could love Chloe. It's possible. Possible for you to be happy." I hoped he would find happiness, for both our sakes.

"I would sooner offer myself as a vampire's dinner than fall in love with Chloe. My father is not the standard I want to follow."

"Maybe not, but you'll at least have to tolerate her. She'll be the mother of your children—"

"Chloe's not pregnant," Jasper interrupted.

"What?" I was taken aback. Erica and Brandon had told me that once an Alpha and Luna were named, their first act was to conceive a child. I had just assumed that after the other night, they had—

"People started questioning why she wasn't pregnant yet. As a strong Alpha, I should have gotten her pregnant by now. She keeps telling people we're trying and that she might be pregnant, only to admit later that she's not. It's all a lie," Jasper said, sounding exhausted by Chloe's games.

She wasn't pregnant. Chloe had no true tie to Jasper. They may be married, but Jasper and I would always be mates.

"I didn't realize," I told him. I felt sorry for him. I had found myself after leaving his pack, but it seemed Jasper was trapped within himself.

"Is that why you let her walk all over you?" I asked.

"It's easier than fighting with her all the time." He looked down, avoiding my eyes.

"I think you shouldn't close yourself off and let her run your pack into the ground. I care about what happens to this pack, even if I can't be here." Jasper looked up from the ground, his gaze locking onto mine.

The air grew thick with the understanding that it wasn't the pack I was worried about. Jasper took a step toward me, then another, and another, until he was a breath away. He wrapped his arm around my waist. I rested my hands along his arm, following as he slowly lifted his hand to tilt my chin. I looked up at him, just as I had the first night I returned here, and closed my eyes to steady my emotions.

"We can't," I whispered. Jasper lowered his head until our noses touched.

"I know," he whispered back. "Blame the leftover effects of the mate bond. Blame my weakness as a man. Blame whatever you have to—for us to have this moment," he begged.

Just as I was about to answer him, I felt Jordan mind-linking with me.

Amaya, we got him to talk some more.

"We can't." I pulled his hands away from me. I took a step back, then another, and another until I was outside the door, fighting to keep from crying. Was this the price I was meant to pay—the happiness of being with my mate traded for the power of being part of the royal family? 

***

I walked down to the cells with my head held high. I was second-in-command; I had no time for tears. I met Christian and Jordan in front of the cell that held the man we had captured. He now sat in the middle of the cell, silent but alert. His eyes were closed as if meditating, and he cracked a smile before opening them.

"You know, most of my team are rogues and newbreeders. The strongest man I have was cursed because he—well, I won't bore you," he said with the same unsettling smile.

"What is your name?" Jordan asked, clearly agitated.

"I've met powerful creatures—creatures that could tear this pathetic pack apart—but you..." He paused, looking at me. "You have great power. Power we need on our side," he paused. "You see Victor as an enemy, someone who's against change. But have you ever stopped to think what good this unity has done for anyone?" He stood and walked to the gate. Jordan moved closer to me.

"You were a mistake—but one we can use to win this war," he said, locking eyes with me.

"What war?" I asked, stepping closer to him.

"The one that just started," he whispered back.