You know what I'm still torn between? Fighting and if it's easier to give up and die. Like just I could just stop and stop feeling this all. Stop going in and out of the dark. Yet also things could get so much better, which makes me scared to give up. I'm not sure what to do. What if I don't give up and it was a big mistake to do that, my whole future is actually a wreck. But what if I'm wrong. I'm so fucking terrified. I'm not sure what to do. My body could collapse with one touch and truth is I don't have the strength to bring myself back up, I'm not sure if I want to.
