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05. Baby Steps

It wasn’t too long until their food arrived, and they talked about pointless things as they ate; Allie explained about school starting up the next week, and how nervous she was. Zach found it rather entertaining. He knew that Allie had nothing to worry about, he’d always enjoyed school - not the educational aspect (although he didn’t hate it either) but the social aspect. He tried to reassure her and told her all about his plans to start up at Uni with Nate when the mid-semester started and they talked about his course; a teaching degree.

“So, do you miss your  friends back home?” Zach asked as their conversation topic began to fade out.

Allie shrugged, “I guess, I mean when I think about how things were before I left I miss everyone, but now I don’t really talk to anyone and no one really talks to me.”

Zach  nodded, “I guess it would be hard to keep contact with time zones and all.”

“I think everyone was caught up in school these past months, and I didn’t really try to hold on to anything when I moved; I needed to let go of home, I wanted to.”

“And you have?” Zach questioned, unsure if he’d ever be able to do the same thing.

“Somewhat...” Allie frowned down at her half eaten meal.

The direction the conversation was now heading was beginning to make her uncomfortable. She wasn’t ready to talk to Zach about what happened before she came; she wasn’t ready to explain that she had to let go because it hurt to hold on. Allie wasn’t ready to relive her goodbyes and her loneliness; she wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable in front of Zach. She didn’t want him to be drawn to her out of sympathy. If she could have controlled the situation better, Allie wouldn’t have told Nate what had happened, as things were she hadn’t been left with much choice. He’d seen the picture, he’d watched Allie’s reactions and her tears. Even so, there was something different about telling Nate, it had been far from easy - she couldn't even form the sentence, but Allie hadn’t had to worry about scaring him off by showing him that she was a little bit broken. Zach was taking a different interest in her, that changed everything.

“I still think about it, but it doesn’t do much good. I’m here, everyone else is there. It’s black and white, really.” Allie concluded.

“That’s a good way to look at it,” Zach studied Allie’s reactions, enjoying the way he was getting a little bit of insight into the way her mind worked.

Allie nodded, “So, Nate told me you were quite the popular boy in school, what did it take for a girl to win you over?” Her tone changed to playful as she veered away from the uncomfortable topic.

Zach cocked an eyebrow and a mischievous smile formed on his lips, “You’re looking to win me over?”

“Hey, who said anything about me?” Allie mock gasped.

“Well, I could tell you - but I’d have to kill you.”

Allie rolled her eyes at the cliche, “That’s what they all say.”

“Well if you’re not looking to win me over, what use is it to you?” Zach teased her.

Allie shrugged and grinned across at him, “Well, I just thought it couldn’t hurt.”

Allie wasn’t sure how she was remaining so quick on her feet, and so calm. Inside she was a mess; everything about Zach was making her nervous, but at the same time she was sort of relaxed, it was fun, just smiling and pretending everything was okay, because in that moment, things just were.

Their charming waitress made her way back over, clearing away the empty plates and asking if there was anything else she could get for the two. Zach waved her away with a smile, just asking for the bill. Disappointment bubbled through Allie at that, she had been enjoying herself and she wasn’t quite ready for her time with Zach to come to a close. It was reassuring knowing that there was someone who could still make her feel that way.