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Emptiness.
That was the only word JJ could use to describe how he felt. It was the only thing he would probably ever feel for as long as he lived.
He and the others had gotten back from Morocco a little while ago. Working with Shoupe to try and find Groff hadn't been easy, but it had been the only way to calm the chaos. Poguelandia was still up in the air. No real word on whether they'd be able to keep what they had so preciously built or not.
JJ rolled the Estrella's ring between his fingers. The string it was attached to blew in the wind as he sat on the dock alone. Which was how he preferred to spend his time most days.
Cleo, Charlotte, Sarah had tried desperately to get through to the other four. While losing Estrella affected them as well, losing someone the others had know for so long and so deeply had rocked extremely hard. Pope and JJ the hardest.
Estrella's death left a hole that all of them knew could never be filled by anything else. Nor did they want it to be. It was something they all knew they'd never truly get over. It was going to be something they'd have to eventually learn to deal with. Though JJ knew he never wanted to learn to live without her.
He looked over at the camcorder sitting beside him. It was one of the first things he'd found when they'd gotten back. It sat on Estrella's bedside table like it always did. He hadn't had the heart to watch any of it back. Knowing that seeing her face and hearing her voice would break him all over again even though it was all he wished for these days.
He picked it up and turned it over in his hands. Staring down at it as if it had taken everything from him. He slid her ringer onto his picky and held the string in his palm. He opened the camcorder slowly. The screen flickered on and he navigated to the playback mode like Estrella had shown him a million times.
His thumb hovered over the play button before he slowly pressed it with a deep breath.
August 9th, 2023
"How is..? Oh. I think I got it, Pope." Estrella giggles. She holds the camera up to her face and smiles, "Hi, video diary, as Kie likes to call you. I don't even know what I want to do or say on here, but I guess I'll be showing our progress on Poguelandia, which right now is, not much."
She turns the camera and shows what would become the place she loved so much. Her shoe comes into the camera as she kicks aside a random piece of wood, "It's not much right now, but it'll be great. I know it will."
JJ's eyes flutters as the video ended. He selects another from the list.
August 18th, 2023
"Okay, go." He hears Estrella say though Kie was the one in the camera.
"Okay."
Kie said as she threw two balls in the air before throwing a third and catching them before repeating the process. She focused in on the skill John B had shown her a few hours prior that she had been working on since. A few seconds go by of Kie juggling before she caught all three and the two girls erupted in cheers. The camera shook as Estrella jumped up and down. JJ's heart broke as he heard the girls laughter before the recording ended.
