Addiction| 18+

18| first session

Hayley

It had been a week since the hotel incident. Savannah's insults, grey's calm reaction, the lingering tension..it all clung to me. Even thinking about it made my chest tighten.

Dr. Angulu's office looked just as simple and clean as last time. Sunlight came through the blinds, showing stripes across the carpet. I perched on the edge of the chair, hoodie sleeves pulled over my hands, sweatpants loose at the ankles. I didn't look like someone who belonged here. I didn't feel like it either.

"Hayley," Dr. Angulu said softly. "Good to see you again."

I nodded, eyes on my hands. "Hi."

"How's it been since last time?" she asked.

"Same... I guess," I mumbled. Fine didn't cover the tension coiling in my chest every morning, the way I stiffened even when Grey's hand brushed mine, even though I trusted him. Fine didn't cover the emptiness of a week full of small, sharp reminders that nothing around me was simple anymore.

Dr. Angulu leaned back slightly. "We don't have to dive into anything huge today. Maybe we can start with your family—siblings, parents, anyone important from home?"

I hugged myself tighter. Giving in to the fact I need to open up. "I have a brother. Warren. We... used to be really close."

"Oh?" Dr. Angulu prompted, gentle.

"Yeah. We'd tell each other everything. Joke around. We where best friends growing up. But h-he got into my dad's business and... we drifted. Not anything bad, just... different. We weren't connected anymore after that. He turned into someone I no longer recognized anymore."

"That can feel lonely," Dr. Angulu said softly.

I nodded. "Yeah. Lonely, and... confusing. You want something familiar, but it's gone."

"And your parents?" she asked.

I froze. My chest tightened. "My mom... she tried, always busy holding everything together. My dad..." I didn't say anything. I couldn't. The weight of what I remembered—the way my life had shifted in a single night, sat like a rock in my stomach. I stared at my hands.

"That's okay," Dr. Angulu said gently. "You don't have to go into details. Silence is enough."

I nodded slightly, hugging myself tighter.

I thought about my cousin Rebecca. We had been inseparable once. Loud, fearless, always dragging each other into trouble, laughing until our sides hurt. High school felt like a different life—a life where I could be carefree. Midnight ice cream runs, ridiculous selfies, concerts I would never have gone to alone. I remembered that girl the one who danced in the rain with Rebecca, who laughed too loud, who felt like she could take on the world.

Now... that girl felt distant. Life had grown heavy. My brother drifting away, my parents, running away, Grey, the small constant tension that followed me wherever I went. Sitting next to Grey could make me stiffen, my chest tightening without warning.

"I... I miss being... like that," I admitted quietly. "Carefree, fun, laughing, feeling alive. My cousin... she... she always knew how to make things feel... light. I don't... I don't feel that anymore."

Dr. Angulu nodded. "It sounds like you had a connection that brought out a side of yourself you can't access easily now."

I shrugged, hugging myself tighter. "Yeah. We used to do everything together, even the dumbest stuff. Now.." I cut myself off not wanting to say anymore than I need to.

"It's normal for relationships to change," she said. "But it can feel isolating when you lose that part of yourself."

I bit my lip. "Yeah, isolating... and kind of sad. Because I still want that part of me back. But I don't... know how."

"That's okay," she said. "You don't need to figure it out today. Just noticing it is a step."

I nodded, tugging my sleeves lower. I thought about Grey again—the way he could be calm and protective but still make me feel measured, like every movement was observed. I hadn't said any of that aloud, but it was there, wrapped in my chest.

Dr. Angulu tilted her head. "Do you notice how tense you still feel even when you're safe? Even when no one is judging you?"

I nodded, hugging myself tighter. "Yeah, every day."

"That's normal," she said softly. "Your body remembers before your mind does. Old patterns stick. One step at a time."

I exhaled slowly, letting a little of the tension leave my chest. Sunlight across the carpet, the faint hum of the air conditioner, ticking clock... normal, safe. Slowly, imperceptibly, the coil in my chest loosened just a little. Not gone. Not fixed. But softer.

"Even small steps are progress," Dr. Angulu said gently. "Noticing your feelings, your memories, your longing for who you were... I believe this is good spot to end for today."

I nodded again, tugging my sleeves lower. One week. One session. One step.

Once I'm ready I will have to speak my truth. About what really happened that night.

Just.. not today.

***

Okayyy so she's starting to open up!!! Yay love that for this queen!

It's going to be another 50 chapters before they get together... I'm jk HEH GOT YA