Addiction| 18+

16|Still here

Hayley

I woke up before the room was fully light.

For a second, I didn't know where I was. My body felt tense, too aware. The ceiling above me wasn't familiar. The sheets smelled different. My breath caught as it came back to me all at once.

Grey's bed.

Fear hit fast. My heart started racing, my hand going to my chest as I looked around the room.

Then I noticed something.

The space beside me was empty.

No warmth. No weight. No sign that someone had been there recently. His side of the bed looked untouched, like he'd been gone for a while.

I turned my head slowly, taking everything in. The door was cracked open. Soft morning light spilled in from the hall.

Nothing hurt.

No hands.
No closeness.
Nothing had happened while I slept.

My heart didn't calm right away, but the panic shifted into something else. Confusion. Relief I didn't trust yet.

I had slept.

Not well. Not deeply. But long enough that the night had passed by.

Sunlight slipped through the curtains, pale and quiet. Dust floated in the air. The house was still—no voices, no footsteps. Just silence.

I sat up carefully, like I might startle myself. The sheets were cool. I pulled the blanket closer, trying to stay grounded.

Mornings used to be the hardest part. Waking up and trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Bracing for things I couldn't remember doing.

But this morning, there was nothing to figure out.

Just quiet.

And for once, quiet felt safe.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. The floor was cold under my feet. Real. Solid. I pressed my toes down, reminding myself where I was.

On the nightstand, there was a glass of water and a folded note.

My chest tightened as I picked it up.

Went to make coffee. Take your time. I'll be in the kitchen.
—G

That was it.

No pressure. No explanation. Just letting me know where he was.

I let out a slow breath.

He hadn't stayed to watch me wake up. He hadn't waited nearby.He hadn't needed to see how I felt.

He'd left the room for me.

I sat on the edge of the bed for a while, letting the sunlight warm my hands, letting the quiet stay.

One night.

I had made it through one night.

The fear wasn't gone. The memories were still there. But I hadn't woken up feeling wrong. I hadn't woken up feeling hurt.

I stood, steadier now, and looked toward the open door. I could smell coffee down the hall.

I wasn't ready for the day.
I wasn't ready to trust.

I grabbed a clean towel from the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

Running to the bathroom, I stepped into the shower.

The shower took a moment to warm up. I stood under the water once it felt warm, letting the water run over my shoulders, my back, my arms. A quick shower for just enough time to feel awake.