May mga bagay talaga na kahit anong gawin o pilit natin, hindi magiging atin.
Isang bagay yan na natutunan ko simula nung mahalin kita. Natutunan ko na kahit gaano pa natin kagustong ipaglaban ang isang bagay o tao, kung hindi sila para sa atin, hindi sila magiging atin.
I am now a 4th year college student. Graduating nanaman ako, almost 4 years since the day that I loved you.
Ang bilis ng oras o araw kung tutuusin.
Dati, isa lang akong high school student, isang simple at normal lang na high school student pero simula noong nakilala kita, binigyan mo ng kulay yung buhay ko, you were my wake up call and I thank you for that.
Kung hindi dahil sayo hindi ko matutunan na bigyang halaga yung sarili ko, na bago ko isipin yung ibang tao, I should prioritize my self first. Kung hindi dahil sayo hindi magiging malakas yung loob ko para sabihin yung totoong nararamdaman ko, you made me stronger. Sa lahat ng sakit na pinadama mo sakin, I knew that you helped me to be a better version of myself. You taught me to fight for what I know was right, you taught me to be strong when I thought that I can't do it all along. You taught me to be honest when all I know was to make other people happy but I can't make myself happy. You taught me to become a better person and I really am thankful for that.
Siguro nga, lahat ng nangyayare sa atin ay nakaplano na. Siguro it was God's will na makilala kita, na mahalin kita, na masaktan mo ko, alam ko plano yun ng Diyos dahil alam ko na tinutulungan Niya din ako na hubugin yung sarili ko na maging mabuting tao mula sa mga pagkakamali ko.
Yeah, maybe our love was wrong, the timing was wrong but my feelings for you was never wrong. I knew it was right all along.
Pagdating ko ng second year college, may nakilala akong guy, we met each other at unti unti ay nagkapalagayang loob na kami, he courted me and then we became official when it was second semester of my sophomore year. That time I know, mahal ko siya but still not enough para pantayan yung nararamdaman ko para sayo. Eto nanaman ako, nagpapakatanga sa pag ibig para lang kalimutan ka.
Then one night, I received a text from you then I found out na break na kayo. Great timing right? Kung kelan ikaw yung single, ako naman yung taken. Ang galing talaga ng timing. That time I know I was still inlove with you, so bilang tanga, I replied.
The days passed by at nagkakausap nanaman tayo, you found out na may boyfriend na ko pero sweet ka pa din, and I know were doing the same mistake again. Again and again.
What's new? We were always wrong.
What is in you that made me cling to you this much? I don't know. Nagiguilty ako kasi alam ko na mahal ako ng boyfriend ko and I also know na mahal ko siya pero mahal din kita, mahal na mahal. I was torn. Halos 2 months na tayong magkausap ulit then one day, I decided to stop it. Dapat matagal ko ng tinigil to pero wala eh, nabulag ako sa pagmamahal ko sayo. Iniisip ko kasi na baka eto na yun, ito na yung tamang timing. I was thinking na makipagbreak sa boyfriend ko pero nung time na sasabihin ko na sa kanya, bigla kong narealize..
Hindi ko pala kaya na iwan na lang siya basta, na parang ako yung masasaktan pag nakita ko siyang nasasaktan, na siya na pala talaga yung mahal ko at hindi ko na pala kayang iwanan siya para sayo.
You respected my decision, nagtapos tayo ng maayos. No bitterness, no hatredness. After kitang kausapin, kinausap ko naman yung boyfriend ko.
I said na kailangan naming mag break.
Why? Because I was too stupid, very very stupid. I told him what we did, na naguusap tayo habang kami, na ang sama sama ko kasi inabuso ko yung pagmamahal niya.
Sobrang sakit, mas doble pa tong sakit na nararamdaman ko kaysa nung sayo, kasi ngayon.. Na sakin na pinakawalan ko pa. Ang bobo ko kasi, he doesn't deserve me, manloloko ako at kahit pa mahal na mahal ko siya, I let him go...
But he decided to stay. Hindi niya ko ginive up, kahit nasaktan ko siya, pinaglaban niya pa din ako. And that's when I knew that I found the boy that I will love for the rest of my life.
Kung hindi dahil sayo, hindi ko matututunan lahat ng natutunan ko ngayon. Maybe, hindi talaga tayo para sa isa't isa, hindi talaga tayo meant to be. Maybe kaya tayo pinagtagpo para bigyan ng aral ang isa't isa na sa lahat ng bagay, kailangan ng tamang timing. Siguro nga pinagtagpo lang tayo pero hindi itinadhana. It hurts, it hurts a lot kasi eto na oh, free ka na eh. Yung lalaking hinintay ko ng sobrang tagal, pwede na din akong mahalin pabalik, na this time magiging tama na sana kami kaso hindi nanaman eh. Mali nanaman. Maybe we were not really made for each other but I know that you'll forever stay in my heart, my first love. Hinding hindi mapapalitan ng kahit sino man ang pwesto mo sa puso ko, andami mong tinuro sa akin without you knowing it, thank you very much for all the heartaches cause if it wasn't for that, hindi ako matututo. So thank you. Nakakatawang isipin na hindi naman naging tayo, kahit 1 day man lang o 1 hour o 1 minute o kahit nga lang 1 second walang tayo eh. Pero kahit ganon, mahal na mahal pa din kita.
Always remember that I'll love you in a way that no one else does, I'll love you in a way that only me can understand but now, it wasn't the same kind of love like before. Right now, i know, I found my true and greatest love.
So this is goodbye Jake, alam ko na makakahanap ka din ng babae na mamahalin ka ng mas matindi pa sa pagmamahal ko sayo at kung dumating man yung araw na yun, wag mong kakalimutan na minahal ka ng isang katulad ko.
I loved you.
I love you.
Always have and always will.
Goodbye, Jake.
-Arisse.
