Can't-Sink-This-Ship's One Shots

Deductions Seductions & A Bunch Of Food Fellatio

A/N:
Hey guys! So funny story... I actually dreamed this up. Yep, this ship is invading my slumber now. I had a dream about a fanfiction I ended up writing one other time, but that was Destiel angst six months ago. This is not angst, I promise. Enjoy!
Also, this is actually the story of my life lmao.
Pairing: LxLight
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Synopsis:
L notices some odd behavior exhibited by Light and deduces that either Light likes L or he's Kira. Light is very closeted (and also not Kira,) L is surprisingly skilled at subtle seduction as well as being a cryptic little shit, and Soichiro Yagami is surprisingly supportive of Light's sexuality. Also, Misa is just Light's best friend. She is in love with Kira, after all, who avenged her parents' deaths.
~~~~~~~~
L could hear Light explaining what he had discussed with L about Kira, but he wasn't listening. Instead, he was acutely aware of the thing Light had doodled thoughtlessly on the corner of the data that Watari had printed up. It was the "L" that he used when making an announcement on television. It had been scribbled out.
L said nothing. He simply filed that away in his mind and tuned back into the conversation at hand.
~
L began to notice that Light didn't meet his eyes anymore, when he addressed him. L had been surprised to note, when they first met, that Light always met his eyes when they spoke to each other. It was charming, actually. So few people ever looked at the person they were conversing with.
Ever since the scribbled-out "L" thing, Light had been evading eye contact. Whenever L looked to find Light looking at him, Light would look away immediately and his face would get red. Was he ashamed of his alter-identity, Kira? Or was it something else?
~
Light had always been the type to stare into space while he was thinking. But before, he had always stared at a screen or a piece of paper, or even his hands. Now, more increasingly frequently, L noticed that he was the thing being stared at. It didn't make him uncomfortable, in fact, it pleased him. He liked having Light's attention, even if it was only subconsciously.
But it did raise the question: why was Light subconsciously so drawn to looking at L while he was deep in thought? There were only two options for what all of the odd behaviors now being exhibited by Light, at least, the ones that L had noticed. Either Light had a crush on L, or he truly was Kira. L decided to play with Light, to test it out.
'This ought to be fun.' L thought to himself, and he smiled slightly.
~
Light walked into headquarters expecting the whole team to be there. Instead, it was empty except for L/Ryuzaki.
L was eating a banana. Actually, "eating" was the wrong word. Both "sexually assaulting" and "conducting an act of fellatio upon" were better descriptors. Light swallowed, immediately feeling awkwardly aroused by this display.
"Um, Ryuzaki..." L looked up at him, teeth clenching the bottom end of the fruit. Light moved to hold his briefcase in front of his embarrassing and truly uncomfortable hard-on. "Get a room if you're going to do that to an innocent piece of fruit. Because you're usually in the company of at least one former police officer, and it looks a lot like you're sexually assaulting a helpless banana." L smiled coyly, peeling the fruit and taking it in his mouth. Light looked at the floor, knowing his face was getting very red and very warm, and speaking of warmth, he was also experiencing an abundance of that in another part of his body.
"Excuse me. I need to use the restroom." Light hightailed it to the restroom, not looking at L once. He didn't leave the restroom for a long time.
~
They finally had a lead as to who could be Kira. One of the detectives, Raye Penber, had also been trailing Detective General Kitamura's son, as well as Light Yagami, when he died. The boy, Evan Kitamura, was eighteen, very enthusiastic about several rock bands, based on the level of merchandise in his room, wore extremely goth/punk clothing, and snuck out of the house a lot. It was the last part that made Light suspicious of him. Clothing and music tastes said nothing about whether he was Kira or not.
He had sent Mogi, wearing glasses that contained a tiny hidden camera, to follow the boy. Light, L, and Soichiro were now watching the live camera stream from Light's computer. Evan looked around him- Mogi had been instructed to pretend like he was taking a call from a nagging wife if Evan ever noticed him- and then entered an apartment complex. Mogi followed him. Luckily, the boy left the curtains open in the window of the apartment he had entered, using his own key, so Mogi positioned himself where Light could zoom in to the window on his computer so they could see, but where Evan wouldn't be able to see him without knowing where to look. Another boy greeted him with a hug- Light used the police database to ID him as a nineteen year-old called Ritsu Omo- and they spoke about something with serious expressions on their faces.
"What could they be talking about? Who to kill next?" Soichiro asked. Light shrugged.
Suddenly, the two boys surged into motion... And kissed passionately. Light gasped, glancing at his father and L nervously.
"Or perhaps whether they've been getting anywhere with their unaccepting parents." L suggested drily. Light was shocked to hear Soichiro chuckle.
"If I were the parent of either of these boys, I would hope I could be trusted by my child enough that they could freely tell me what was going on, rather than sneaking out constantly and living a lie." Light was surprised that his father was okay with it.
"So if one of your children decided they were gay or transgender or something like that, you would accept them?" L asked curiously.
"Why wouldn't I? It would certainly take some getting used to, but I wouldn't have a problem with it." Light bit his lip, looking away. It was too good to be true, honestly. If he approached his father and said: "Hey, dad, I have never liked a girl in my life, and currently, I think I have a huge crush on an insomniac detective who is giving himself diabetes, who also thinks I'm a serial killer," he would probably be in for the beating of his life.
Soichiro called Mogi back to headquarters and Light was acutely aware of L staring at him unflinchingly. He really hated his cheeks for giving him away. Why did they have to tell everyone what Light was thinking, privately, in his own head. It was no one's business but his own.
~
Light had just found another clue, and they were reasonably sure that this would lead them to Kira. Soichiro had ruffled his son's hair as he smiled with pride, Matsuda and Mogi had given him encouraging words, but Light payed more attention to L. L was smiling.
Light had never seen L really smile before. He had seen the devious smirk that appeared sometimes, when L had an idea of how to trick Kira. But a real smile? He could only stare. L looked quite adorable when he smiled.
Frowning at his subconscious word choice- L was most certainly NOT adorable- Light decided to bring his best friend in the whole world into this fiasco with his feelings for L. Maybe an outside eye could help him decide what to do about it.
Stepping out, he hit "Call."
"Hello? Light?"
"Hey, Misa. I need your opinion on something."
"Sure, what is it?"
"Um, well, you are aware that I like boys? Not girls."
"Are you having boy problems?" Misa sounded sympathetic.
"Yeah, kind of. Listen, you know how L thinks that I'm Kira?"
"You like L? Seriously?"
"Yeah. A bit." Light said hesitantly.
"First off, that's bullshit. You wouldn't be calling if you only like him 'a bit.' Second, I just have to say... You sure have a weird taste in guys, Light."
"Whatever. That's not why I called. I don't think he likes me back, but he's been acting a bit weird around me recently. What should I do?"
"Define 'weird.' What's been going on?"
"Performing fellatio on a banana when I was the only other person in the room, asking my father how he felt about homosexuality. Things like that. What do you think it means?" He heard Misa begin to laugh hysterically on the other end of the line.
"You're such an idiot sometimes, Light. I swear, I don't know how you manage in real life without me. Clearly he suspects that you have feelings for him, whether sexual or romantic, and he's been testing out his theory by measuring your reaction to such things."
"But then, what do I do? I can't focus on anything when he does these things. I'm not as useful to the task force when he's always distracting me."
"As near as I can tell, you have two options. Either you can simply confront him about it and see what he says, or you can get him back."
"How?"
"Give him a taste of his own medicine. Give him a display of pseudo-oral sex, similar to what he did, but make it as dramatic and as sexual as possible without being too obvious. Then see him get knocked off his game for a week. I've got faith in your abilities. After all, and as a completely platonic friend, I can say this... Light, you are super good-looking and I have no doubt you can be a sexy beast if you set your mind to it."
"I'll try." Light said dubiously.
"Do or do not, in the words of the wise, wrinkly, green, little man from a popular American film series. There is no 'try.' Get off the phone, go do it, and tell me later how it goes."
"Alright. Bye."
"Bye."
~
Light was armed with a Popsicle, and he was ready to deliver. He just needed L to wake up first. He didn't have to wait long.
L yawned as he strolled into the base of headquarters. He was greeted by the image of Light licking a bright red Popsicle sensually.
"Good morning, Light-kun." He said, summoning his best poker face.
Light made no response except to thrust the Popsicle into his mouth, and pull it back out slowly, dragging his teeth on it. L swallowed hard, licking his suddenly dry lips, and sat at his computer. He forced himself not to stare at the man beside him, who was the cause of the uncomfortable heat in his lower region, and gazed intently at the data on the screen.
It went on like this- L pretending to study the data on his computer, Light staring at L and giving a mock blow job to the Popsicle- for a while. Had Soichiro or anyone else on the task force- though perhaps not Matsuda- seen the two, it would have been evidently clear to them that there was something going on beyond being partners for the investigation and reluctant friends.
Finally, L broke, as he watched Light's bright red tongue wrap around to lick his lips, from the corner of his eye.
"Light-kun, don't you have work to do? A snack break is fine every once in a while, but we really can't spare the lost productivity." L said, irritated. Light smirked.
"You're one to talk." Immediately, he bit a large chunk off of the Popsicle and swallowed it without blinking. L felt his cheeks heat up.
"Touché. I just don't think it's really necessary to eat it like that." L didn't look at Light as he said that.
"What? You have a problem with how I eat a Popsicle?" Light asked coyly, leaving his seat to stand over L. Their faces were only a foot away.
"N-no, I just..." L sputtered, as Light moved his face even closer. Eight inches.
"What's wrong? Come on, tell me." Light teased, moving closer. Six inches.
L had lost the ability to speak. Wordlessly, he met Light's gaze with dilated pupils, breathing getting shallower and shallower. Four inches. Their noses were almost touching.
No. L would not lose to Light, even if he wasn't Kira. He willed himself to take a deep breath, held Light's hands down on the arms of his chair, and moved closer still. Two inches from their lips touching. One of them only had to move and then...
"Good morning, Light-kun! Ryuzaki!" Matsuda called out cheerfully, and they shot apart, Light reclaiming his seat and turning on his computer.
~
"Light-kun! If you were Kira, is this the sort of person you'd kill?" L held up a profile.
"R-Ryuzaki!" Soichiro sputtered.
Light felt an immediate wave of disappointment wash over him. Maybe L had just been testing him to see if he was Kira. That was probably all it was.
~
Light had strode out randomly, and reluctantly L had followed him. Except that Light could sure move fast when he wanted to.
"Light-kun! Wait! What's wrong?" L yelled, and Light stopped but did not turn around. When L got closer, he heard Light say:
"Look, I know you want me to be Kira, L, but I'm not. I'm sorry." Light sighed, glancing at the various passerby to check they had not been listening to what he had said.
"I don't want you to be Kira, Light. I really don't." L said, and Light turned around and looked at him, confused.
"You can't possibly want to be wrong; it's not like you. I don't understand." L sighed.
"I'll be in the restaurant that you took me to, once, in the exact same booth. Meet me there when you figure it out. I don't doubt you will in the next few moments. Happy deductions, Light." With that, L walked past him. As they passed L muttered to him:
"And I would never wish to be wrong. We are alike in many ways, after all."
Light stood there, unmoving, for a few minutes.
'If L says he doesn't want me to be Kira, but he doesn't want to be wrong, then... The only possible explanation is that he wants me to like him. But that doesn't make sense! Unless...'
Light gasped. Suddenly his whole world was upside down, and he didn't know anything anymore.
'Unless he likes me back.'
Light couldn't fathom why L wold like him back, but the revelation struck a chord. Suddenly, much of L's behavior made sense to him. All of those things that had made his nose want to bleed... L had been doing that on purpose. L
With difficulty, Light forced his legs to burst into action, and he ran full-speed all the way to the restaurant that L had mentioned. Gasping for breath, he walked over to the booth that they had sat at, where no one could overhear a conversation even if they tried. He saw the familiar head of black hair.
"Hello, Light. I knew it wouldn't take you long."
~
A few minutes later, they got kicked out for "excessive PDA" and resumed what they were doing in Light's bedroom.