Journey Home

Chapter Thirty

"What happened?" I ask him quietly, rubbing his shoulder. Austin doesn't bother to start the car; he just sits silently, staring ahead at the windshield miserably. His entire face droops, and I can't bear to see my- I mean, Austin looking so sad.

"He knew he was dying," Austin whispers. "He...he told me about Miss- about Mom. He said...oh gosh." He bit his lip. "He still loved her. He told me the whole story. He knew everything, I guess."

I nod, slightly relieved. I hadn't been looking forward to catching him up.

"I did know, remember?" he reminds me quietly. "They said he wouldn't make it. Just...expected it to be longer."

I nod again. "Do you want to see your mom?" I venture.

Austin doesn't seem to have heard me. "I don't know when Dad's funeral will be."

I repeat myself, slightly louder this time but not to loud because of what just happened.
"Do you want to see your mom?"

He looks at me blankly. "Uh, no. I already lost one parent, I don't need to go see my rotten one."

I give him my best puppy eyes.

"Why do you even want me to?" he asks in exasperation, squeezing my arm. "It's not gonna help. She's not going to help. It'll just make it worse." His eyes hold the message he can't make himself say: I can't. I can't deal with it.

I'm breaking. And I don't know exactly why I want him to, at least, I can't put it into words while I feel like this. "I...please, Austin. Just for me. Just one quick visit. She's your mom, remember?"

"Not right now," Austin says resignedly.

"No." I open the door and step out into the pouring rain. Then I open Austin's door and pull him out. "You need to do this now. Ergh. You're heavy. Walk with me, fool."

He chuckles resignedly and walks alongside me.

***

Miss Flavrin is very, very perturbed at me, one of her least favorite people in the world, and her son showing up at her door again in the evening. But she finally agrees to talk to us.

Austin is too numb to speak, so I take over. "Mr. Noble is dead," I inform her, clenching my fists in my lap and squirming in the chair under her gaze.

A long pause. I avoid Miss Flavrin's eyes, scared to death of what I'd see in them.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," I offer, still looking down.

"'Sorry' helps nothing." Her voice is scratchy. Then a string of curse words erupts out of her mouth. I clench my teeth and stare down. Austin jerks next to me.

"Did - he - mention - me?" she asks jerkily.

I tune it out as Austin explains. I feel like an invader on their privacy, trespassing on a reunion and moment of grief, none of which involve me.

I leave the room and stand outside the door since I know they need to talk, I decide to look around my old home and soon find myself in the library. I read a little as a few of the younger girls-that were here when I left- stare at me as if they can't believe I'm back.

I stand back up and and end up having a collision with another girl. "Oh sorry about that." I say helping her up but when I see her face I almost let go. "Courtney!" I exclaim more mad then surprised, "Zoey? So your back funny you thought you could escape but-" she begins to say in her usual cocky voice but I cut her off. "Actually I'm an adult know but I came back for my own personal reasons." I say giving her a smirk - I guess I've been hanging out with Austin to much - and start to walk past her, but she scoffs, making me turn around in my heels.

"Do you need something?" I say, giving her a very fake smile which she returns with a smirk.

"I hope you're not talking about you're-so-called boyfriend, just so you know there is something, he's not telling you it's- oh, here he comes! See ya round, Zoey." She say turning around and leaving the library before I have a chance to stop her.

Sure enough, Austin walks into the library. He waves weakly at me, looking very tired.

I stare at him for a long while, Courtney's words locked inside my chest and stabbing me in the heart. But I can't make myself confront him about it. So I just smile which I may never be able to do around him again.