•May 4, 2010 7 days before suicide•
"I'm not going in there." I said looking out the window.
"Ashton, you're going in. You need to talk to someone about this."
"Really? I'm your son but you're to scared to talk about this aren't you?" She looked down.
"That's what I thought." I said getting out of the car.
I stumbled my way down the pavement to the doors of the building.
"Ashton!" A voice yelled from behind me. I turned my head. There stood Michael.
I shook my head and kept walking. "Not today Michael!" I yelled.
"Ashton I want to talk."
I turned towards him. "Michael, I don't give a shit! Just leave me alone! I just want to be alone!"
Michael looked at me. "Ashton, why the fuck are you being a dick?"
"I'm being a dick? Michael you've been a dick to me for years! Maybe this is payback for those years!" I turned away.
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"Does anyone else want to share anything?" The director asked us. Everyone was silent.
I looked down. No one cares. I thought to myself.
"Ashton, what about you? You haven't come for a few days."
I sighed. "I don't have anything to say."
"Ashton, the bandages on your arms, why do you have them?" I closed my eyes.
"I scratched at the scars and they started to bleed." I looked down. "They got infected." I sighed. "That's all."
The whole ground sighed. "That's what you do?" Someone called out.
"What?" I said.
"That's what you've been doing." I looked up it was Luke.
"Luke?" I questioned.
"You told me you'd stop harming yourself! You fucking lied!" Luke turned and ran out.
I looked around at the group and followed after Luke.
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"Luke!" I yelled. "Stop!"
He turned to me. "Why don't you stop first Ashton." I stared at him.
"What do you mean?" I said.
Luke grabbed my arm. "This." He said. I pulled my arm back down. "That's why you asked to go to the nurse wasn't it. When you walked out I saw blood under your finger nails."
"Luke, I haven't done anything for two days. I'm two days clean that's better than zero days clean."
He shook his head. "That's not enough." I widened my eyes.
"Not enough? Luke this is the longest I've ever been! I haven't been two days clean for two fucking years!"
He looked down. "You need more help than support group, Ashton."
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I slumped down in the chair as I listened to the other peoples stories.
"Well, that's it for today." The director said. He looked over to me. "Ashton, may I speak with you?" I stood up nodding.
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"Ashton you do know it's a bad thing to scratch at scars right?" I nodded.
"I know. I felt like I needed to at that moment." I looked down. "My mom's boyfriend found out about my self harm."
"He didn't know?" He asked me. I shook my head.
"I just met him." I looked down. "I thought my mom had told him already, but she didn't."
"It'll get better." He stopped. "Why don't you get home, we'll talk more tomorrow."
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"How was it?" My mom yelled as she rolled the window down. I walked up to the car to see that Rob was sitting there. I glared at him.
"Depressing. And Luke came to see me." I said getting into the back seat.
"He did?" She questioned. I nodded.
"But he's mad at me for harming myself again." I sighed. "He wants me to get more help."
My mom looked at me in the mirror. "Like therapist help?" I shrugged.
"I don't know." I said.
Rob mumbled something to himself in the front seat.
"What was that Rob?" I asked him.
"Nothing." He said looking out the window."
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I could hear yelling form downstairs. I sighed. I heard a knock on my door.
"What?" I said. The door opened to two scared faces.
"Can we stay in here?" Lauren asked me. I nodded. They walked in.
Harry ran up to my bed and pulled me into a hug.
"Why are they yelling?" He asked.
"I don't know." I said.
Harry hugged me tighter. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" I looked down at him and nodded.
"Do you want to stay Lauren?" She nodded climbing up onto my bed.
They both put their arms around my waist and their heads on my chest. I smiled.
Should I stay for them?
Note: Okay this was kinda boring, sorry
But FAMILY LOVE AT THE END
Also I'm so excited for tomorrow in seeing 5sos on GMA *dies*
But goodnight or morning wherever you are
