Addiction

Chapter 1.

- Hayden's point of view -

Each day is the same for me. I wake up, go to work, after work go to the bar, get a girl tipsy, take her home, fuck her, promise to call her before kicking her out of my house, then going to sleep. Some days are different, for instance, instead of going to a bar I'd just call Lina Burke and she'd come to my house. Lina understand what I want and don't want, and she never fails to give me exactly what I need.

Sex is what keeps me going every day. I wake up thinking of sex, and I go to sleep thinking of sex. All throughout the day I'm thinking of fucking someone. It's only natural to think of sex. My doctor says to think of sex is healthy—maybe not as much as I do—but sex itself is healthy.

The only time I have a problem with my behavior is at night when I begin to regret my actions. But then I get over it and do the same exact thing the next day. I don't get past this, I don't change my ways. I mean I've tried before but nothing has ever worked for me. I will forever be an insatiable addict.

The worst part of my night besides when the very end of the night is when the girl wants to "have a personal connection and get to know each other." I don't do relationships. I was never interested in being with only one person. I have decided I'm going to save myself from the future misery, by not getting attached to any woman ever. That's why I fuck them then leave them.

I pushed her body up against the wall, her hands pinned up, our lips never disconnecting no matter how much air we needed. I unzipped her dress and it fell down swimming at her ankles. She quickly unbuttons my jeans but couldn't get them down all the way. "They're too tight." She whines before giving up and taking off her own bra and panties.

I regret wearing tight jeans in situations like this but that never stops me from putting tight jeans on the next day. I pull my jeans off and push her to the bed. I reach for a condom from the night stand and slip it on before taking off my boxers and sliding into her.

This is what I look forward to every night. No matter how shit my day was or how tired I am, fucking helps me.

She groaned, as I moved in and out of her at a quick pace. The friction making me feel alive.

I grasp her large fake breast in my hand pulling and tugging on her nipple between my thumb and index fingers. She moans as I drove myself deeper into her.

For me, it's not only about the sex. Sure the sex is great, but there's more to it. I have all of the control in situations like this. I control who I bring home, how the whole ordeal goes down, what positions we do, and when she leaves. I don't ever let a girl take the lead.

"Hayden . . . I'm going . . . to come." Her annoyingly high pitched voice sounds. Once I got her quiet, she wasn't so bad.

I held onto the headboard pushing myself deeper inside of her, our hips colliding with each thrust.

Most people might think I'm a man whore because I fuck a lot of women. I know people think that because I think the same thing. I sometimes wish I didn't have to be this way. Like one day I will be able to get by without needing to have sex with someone.

Each experience only satisfies me for the time being, as soon as it's over I'm no longer satisfied and I want-no, I need more.

"If we could do this every night," she gasped. I could only moan as I released, the come jetting inside of the condom. I rested my head in her neck from exhaustion.

"Oh my god," She pants trying to recollect her breath, "That was amazing. We should do this again sometime."

I pull myself out of her and toss the condom in the bin before grabbing my boxers from the floor.

"I'll call you sometime." I lie.

One thing I don't do is give the girl my number. They don't stop calling and I don't need them anymore once I'm done with them. I noticed her getting comfortable in my bed. "I'm sorry to do this to you, but you have to leave."

"What, you have sex with me then just kick me out?" She sits up on my bed.

"You thought I was going to let you stay in my house just because you let me fuck you?" I let out a bitter laugh.

"I'm not leaving. And besides, I'm drunk." She crosses her arms over her bare chest.

"You're sober enough. There's a car outside you can take. Tell him your address and he will take you there." I tell her.

"You're a jerk." she scoffs getting up and putting her clothes back on. She swore under her breath the entire time telling me I'm "a cold-hearted asshole who won't ever find love."

I know I'm going to be a lonely, rich guy who fucks his life away, but I'd rather that then waste my time falling in love with someone when it's just going to end. The pain of losing the one you love, isn't worth it to me. Why go through all of that when I can stay far away from it. And that's what I plan to do. Stay far away from love.

_________________

"Oh come on Hayden just tell me you love me. I'm tired of waiting for something that won't ever happen." A brunette talks. I never see her face only her brown hair, as she never looks at me. She sounds like Lina mixed with someone else's voice, one I don't recognize.

"I can't." I respond staring at the back of her head, while driving in my car.

As the words leave my mouth she turns to face me, but her hair still covered her face. I try to move the hair from her face but she stops my hand, grabbing my wrist and squeezing it. Hard. To the point where I can hear and feel my bones cracking.

I tried to snatch my hand away but I was stuck and unable to move. I tried to talk but no sounds were coming from my mouth. I look at my wrist as she twist it and the bones tear through my skin. The pain excruciating as I try to make a sound to get her to stop, but there was still nothing coming out except the words, "I can't."

She suddenly comes to a stop and drops my hand. "Why not?" She mutters. But doesn't give me the time to answer her before I feel a sharp jab in my abdomen. Which I begin to feel over and over again.

I let out sharp gasps each time she stabs me. But I can't say anything to her. With one last blow to my heart, she twist the knife inside of me. The pain indescribable as her cold lips press to my ear and she whispered, "Wrong answer."

I jolt awake, clutching onto my heart, sweat drenching from my body but I felt cold. I take a second to catch my breath but my heart continued beating loudly in my chest.

I stand from the bed going to the kitchen to get a bottle of water before heading off to my study to distract myself from the nightmare I just had.