Don't Mess Around With Things That Don't Exist ~ A Janoskians Fanfiction

Chapter 19 ~ Truth Out

Sorry it takes so long for me to update, I've been so busy and tired lately I have had no time to think of new chapter ideas! I've decided to sort of fade out some of the characters because its a bit too hard to keep up with all these characters, but don't worry they'll still be mentioned from time to time, and plus the main character is Sarah so in the next/last few characters it'll will all be based on Sarah and Luke. Again I'm so, so, so very sorry for not updating these past 5 weeks, I honestly feel bad! But anyway Enjoy! 

(ask me anything at all  here  !)

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~ SARAHS POV ~

Dear Diary..

Where do I even begin to explain the kind of life I've had these last few months? Everything has changed, I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I've lost everyone I care about, even though they never left? I guess I didn't lose anyone, I just lost myself. How did I even get caught up with all this? It feels like the only person I can talk to that wont get hurt is myself?

I don't know whats up with Luke? I'm too afraid to ask, especially after what Beau had told me the other day about Lukes best friend. Even though Luke has physically hurt me twice, I still love him with all my heart. Beau may have told me Luke abused family members and friends, but he never abused me. When you think about it, he didn't really hurt me at all, accidents happen....right?

I know I can definitely count on Emily, Beau and Jai. I'm not too sure about Lucy, Johanna and Nikita though, they had a ton of problems of their own, and I didn't want to get between them too.. Beau was easy to talk to, I told him everything, he was the first person I told about my suicide attempt, and well he was the first person to tell me about Lukes past. We are really close, I would never have feelings for Beau in that way I can guarantee that? But Jai, now Jai was different, we had a special connection, I'm not sure if it was because he's Lukes twin or what?

What the hell am I talking about? Wow if my mum knew me now, she'd probably kill me? Thats if she even wants to know me at all? 

I think the only person who is happy right now is James, he has a new girlfriend, Cara. And he's trouble free with no problems.. I guess only the good get happiness?

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 ~ LUKES POV ~

"Hey.." I approached Jai and sat down next to him on the sand

"What do you want?"

"I uh- I just.. I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"You know what!"

"Yeah I do, but you've never apologised for it before, and honestly? You don't seem that sorry about it?"

"But I am! You don't understand.."

"Yeah I don't! You won't talk to anyone, you wont even get your problem under control. Do you have any idea how you've hurt Sarah?"

"And you do?"  I snarled

"You weren't there the other day, when she was crying about you hurting her! She had a knife in her hand"  

"Well you weren't the one who saved her life when she tried a suicide attempt!"

"Wait.. What?" Jais face became pale 

"What she didn't tell you?"

"No"

"Strange.. Considering how close you two are now"