Don't Mess Around With Things That Don't Exist ~ A Janoskians Fanfiction

Chapter 8

~ Nikitas POV ~

- Theres 5 stages of grief. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression and Acceptance. -

We had been at the beach now going on 3 days, and I had been a fool cuddling up to Beau when he was supposably cheating? I left Lucys room, confused. I didn't believe what she told me, she always seemed to come off jealous of me so I thought she was messing around with me? 

I was in denial. 

- Denial - "this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss. -

Beau wouldn't cheat, he said he loved me? I walked out to see Beau talking to Johanna, I didn't care I went up to him to confront him, and prove Lucy wrong!

~ Beaus POV ~

"Oh hey Nikita we were just talking about how we're gonna stay here for the rest of the summer-"

"Beau did you cheat on me?"  Nikita asked calmly inturrupting me.

I looked to Johanna in fear. Did Nikita know?

"What? No why would you think that?"

"Lucy told me you did? Beau please tell me the truth? I won't be mad" she convinced me with tears in her eyes.

"Ok, I'm sorry! It was just one kiss it meant NOTHING-" she cut me off.

Nikita slapped me hard across my face. As the pain struck my face, she had a shocked look on her face as in a 'oh my god did I just do that' look. But she was angry.

-  Second stage of grief. Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving. - 

"I'm sorry" she teared out.

"No its ok, I-" 

With the tears streaming down her face she asked -

"You never loved me did you?"

"What no, I-" 

As she cut me off and nudged straight past me, what wondered my mind was how did Lucy know? Did Johanna tell Lucy, and then make Lucy tell Nikita so she could break us up? 

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I bursted into Lucys room.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" I yelled at her.

"Oh please, I did you a favour. You know you didn't love her."

"Thats not the fucking point! How did you even know?"

"Are you really asking me that? You really think that after Johanna told Sarah you kissed her, Sarah wouldn't tell me! I'm not one for crushing peoples feelings! But I am when a jerk cheats on one of my best friends!"

"If you're one for best friends, why'd you tell Nikita and break her heart?"

"I think you're the one who broke her heart not me and I was helping her make the right choices, you obviously aren't a faithful guy. You don't deserve her!"

"You don't know what happened! Just leave me alone, haven't you caused enough trouble for Jai?"

~ Nikitas POV ~

Days past, since I broke it off with Beau. I had reached the third stage of grief yesterday. 

- Bargaining- Attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back. - 

I wanted Beau back, but I couldn't do that. I don't even know who he kissed? He hasn't even spoken to me about it. I wanted him back so bad, but I knew I couldn't go back into that relationship of lies. Beau had broke my trust the second he kissed that girl.

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After two days I reached stage four. 

- Depression - overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal. - 

I didn't want to be here, especially not sharing the house with Beau. All I wanted to do was die, and wish it was all a bad dream. I stayed in my room for days and never really came out. I had all the sad songs I've ever downloaded on repeat. 

Give me Love - Ed Sheeran

Turn Your Face - Little Mix

Homeless Heart - JLS

Always Be Together - Little Mix

Over Again - One direction

Breakeven - The Script

And plenty more songs that made be cry out even more. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to leave and never see Beau again. He broke my heart, he broke my trust in him. I wanted to forget he was in my life. 

Weeks past with me mourning in my room, it has been about a month since I found out Beau was cheating on me..

And finally I reached stage five, my way out of here..

- Acceptance - there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realisation that it takes two to make or break a relationship. Realisation that the person is gone. Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. -

I finally accepted me and Beau were broken up, we haven't talked in a month. And I was happy, I felt happy. I didn't want to ruin that by facing to Beau, because all the memories would flood back and I'll drop back to stage two (Bargaining).

This was it, Beau was no longer apart of my life.

I walked into the bathroom to see Sarah sitting on the floor crying.

"Sarah whats wrong?"

"Nikita, Lukes gone."

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Hey guys, hope you liked chapter 8? Stay tuned, for chapter 9 to find why Lukes gone? :)