When Two Worlds Collide

Goodbye

I woke up in the morning and everything from the night before had hit me. I could feels the tears start to fall and I sat up in bed. I didn't want to leave. But it was for the best. I was going to movie to a small apartment I found. They boys were going to Chicago and then to LA. I swung my bag over my shoulder and made sure I had everything. I grabbed my plane ticket to New York and grabbed my bags. It was pretty early so I didn't suspect anyone to be awake. Boy was I wrong. All they guys were downstairs including Louis. I covered my face with my hair and walked towards the door.
"Your gunna leave without saying goodbye?" Niall pouted.
"Bye," my voice cracked.
"No goodbye hug?" He pouted again.
"Not this time Ni," I sighed and went out the door. I got a cab and just like that I was leaving. I always knew that I would be better off alone. I knew that nobody had ever liked me and I had always been the person who had kept to themselves. The cab driver had finally reached the airport and I had gotten to my flight on time. The plane ride had been pretty boring and my tears hadn't stopped once. I missed Louis. I missed everything about him. I wish I was such a screw up. I wish life had do overs. All I needed was to not be such a hot mess. Things were going great. We confessed out love and we were happy. What happened? I gazed out the window as we were going above the clouds. The city below had looked so pretty and all I could think about was Louis. I shook the thoughts out of my head and played music. It was my only escape. I blasted music in my ears and cried. It was pretty lame but l couldn't help myself. When we finally landed I headed straight to my apartment. It wasn't too big but it was good enough. I didn't bother unpacking and threw my bags on the floor of my room. All of the furniture had been ready set up since Liam insisted that I at least had some decent sleeping arrangements and such. I changed into an oversized black shirt and didn't bother to put any pants on since nobody was around. I unlocked my phone for the first time since I had gotten of the plane and saw endless messages and missed calls from all the boys except Louis. I was disappointed that he didn't even bother to text or call but I read the other messages and they all had the same meaning. They all tried to apologize for Louis and told me how important I was and all the bullshit. I didn't believe it for even a second. They blabbed on about wanting me back and how much Louis has changed without me. It broke my heart that Louis wasn't the same but I wasn't going back.
A few days after I had settled in I got the surgery to take out the mass in my lungs. Since I had lived alone and there was nobody to take care of me the doctors had made me stay for an extra week. It wasn't so bad and I was out before I even knew it.
The night I was back home was terrible. I was completely miserable and there was absolutely nothing that could in the slightest way make me feel better.

I have now lived in New York for 3 months. I have not left my apartment for any reason unless absolutely necessary and I had tried my best to ignore they boys, even Liam. I died my hair hot pink and then to the jet black cod I had absolutely loved. It got lonely sometimes but I didn't talk to anyone. I had a night shift at a diner across the street and worked in the back just organizing everything. It didn't require communication which was the main reason I had applied for the job. You could say that I may have been mute for the past three months but that's not entirely true.
One day after u night shift as I was going into the building I noticed the same messy brown hair I had fell in love with.
Louis? What was he doing here?
As he got onto the elevator I caught a glimpse of his blue eyes which were red and puffy and had a completely lost life. We made eye contact before the elevator doors had shut. He forced them back open and looked at me. He stepped out of the elevator and just stared. He saw me. The lifeless dull me. I didn't know what to say and I broke down. I cried harder than any other sleepless night and I had the most heart wrenching pain. I collapsed to the ground and held my chest and just cried. He stood there frozen in shock.
He was by my side within the next minute and guided my chin to look at him.
"Vicks?" He whispered.
"Lou," I barely spoke still crying.
I finally got off the ground with his help and lead him to my apartment. It was dull inside and had very minimal lighting.
"You live here?" He asked looking around the room.
"For the last three months," I mumbled.
We got chatting for a bit mostly just him trying to make small talk and me mumbling. I told him about the endless tears and how I barely slept at night and barely went out especially during the day. He hugged me but I couldn't hug back. Seeing him was too painful.
"What are you doing here?" I finally asked him.
"Looking for you. I miss u boo," he held out his hand but I turned away.
"Louis," I whispered.
"Please?" His voice croaked.
I was confused. For the last three months my life has been miserable and now he just wants to waltz right in?
"No!" I yelled. "I have inevitably loved you and now you come? I can't! I shouldn't! I won't!"
"Then do me a favor before I leave?"
"What?" I said as the tears came back and covered my sullen face again.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."
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I'm so sorry I haven't updated in SUCH a long time but I have now and will hopefully start updating more often!
Stay beautiful my lovelies xoxo