Never Thought

Chapter 8

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Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst.Be that fearless girl the one who would dare to do anything, be that independent girl who didn't need a man; be that girl who never backed down.
-------- Taylor swift
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I sat there on the pavement sobbing for what seemed like hours but in reality it had only been half an hour. Sniffing a little I tried to stand up with my wobbly legs while holding the side wall of a random house for support. Wiping my eyes a little I pulled up the cap of the hoddie on my head and slowly started walking back home. Maybe everyone was right. I am that ugly, maybe this is why no one likes to talk to me, maybe thats why my father likes to beat me to pulp everyday. I know many people would ask me why I stay with my father knowing that he abuses me on daily basis, knowing the fact that he treats me like shit. But I have that little belief in me that maybe, maybe he'll change to the man I once use to call daddy. That maybe he'll feel guilty over his actions. But then again if he doesn't I cant just leave him, whatever he does he still is my father. He doesnt have a job and even though he tries to show that he is strong physically I know for a fact that emotionally he is hurting. He can't get over my mom's death and it's killing him inside.
Too consumed in my thoughts I didn't notice that I was standing right infront of my house. Sighing I took my hoodie cap off and patting my jeans pocket I found the key in the back pocket, pulling it out I undid the lock on the door and carefully opened it. Quietly I entered the house and turned around to shut the door behind me. Instantly I was being pushed inside the door and I moved my face to side so I could breathe. "where the fuck have you been?" my dad asked me while pushing my face further in the door. But before I could utter a word he started speaking again. "I told you I dont care where you go, but that sure as hell doesn't mean that you can go out every fucking night and whore yourself out." When I didn't answer him fast enough he pulled my head back and slammed it back in the door. I'm sure the right side of my face would have a big bruise till tomorrow and it's going to be a hard task hiding this one from people. "sorry" I squeaked, thats how my voice came out a bit muffled in the door and I knew there was no point in arguing so I just went with a simple sorry. It's not like he's going to believe me anyways. "Did you find yourself a job?" he asked rather harshly again. I moved my head side to side the best I could considering the fact the my face was smashed in the door and let out a small no. Hearing my reply he pulled my face back and gripped my jaw rather tightly forcing me to look into his eyes before he spoke. "baby girl, your time is running. I only gave you a few months to get yourself a job beacause if you don't then I'll find my baby girl just the right job for her. and i'm sure you'll love it" he said with a smirk on his face and a wicked gleem in his eyes. Gulping I nodded quickly, I really need to get myself a job because for a fact I know I would most definitely not like the job that he has for me. Its better if I find one myself rather than going through the torture that he has prepared for me. I quickly nodded my head not knowing what else to say and he slammed the back of my head in the door as he punched me twice before going to his room to have his 'peaceful' sleep most probably. Walking up the stairs I touched my face lightly trying to imagine my bruise. Sighing I went in the bathroom to take a quick shower before going to bed.
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The next morning came by quicker than I thought. I woke up as usual to my alarm clock screaming in my ear. Rolling off the bed I went to the bathroon and did my usual morning routine. Coming out I quickly put my clothes on and touches my face to assess the bruise, according to me it was a pretty big one as almost all the side of my face hurted but I can never be too sure. I'll just have to go to school and check it, Applying more than necessary make up on me I got ready and went down to make my father his pancakes, Its been almost 2 days that I hadn't had anything to eat, if you exclude the fact that I had two sips of coke at the party, I could feel myself going weak, But I didnt really care. I just didnt want to faint infront of the entire school. Finishing the breakfast and grabbing my bag I headed out of the door preparing myself for another day of torture.