Never Thought

Chapter 17

******************************** I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
   ---------Marilyn Monroe

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I arrived at the given address 20 minutes later and checked the address twice just to make sure that I'm not going to be knocking at the wrong door. I walked upto the door and raised my hand to knock  but as always my nerves kicked in making me scared. Thus, I took a step back from the door. Rubbing my hands together trying to control my anxiety I took a step foward again to knock, only to lower my hand unable to do it "come on bella, you can do this" I pepped talked myself still making no progress, "ok, deep breaths, lets practice first" I pretended to knock on the door and then spoke normally as if Aiden had opened the door, "Hi, I heard you got beat up so came to check on you" rolling my eyes at the statement that just came out my mouth, I spoke loudly as I scolded myself "Isabella, you've gone crazy, you cant say 'I heard you got beat up' thats like another way of telling Aiden to come and kill you, ok lets try again." I again pretended to knock and spoke as Aiden had opened the door "Heyyyyyyyyyyy" I sighed as I  scolded myself again "You cannot just say 'heyyyy' to Aiden, he is Aiden, not your best friend who your going over for a sleepover to -" my sentence was cut off as the door opened with a grumpy looking Aiden standing on the other side "Just knock ok? I dont want to hear you 'pep' talk yourself anymore, and I'm didnt get beat up and I'm not going to kill you" he grumbled at me rolling his eyes and leaving the door open as he turned around and walked back in the house, I followed him like a lost puppy with my cheeks flushed with embarrassment "you could hear me?" I mumbled still red and embarrassed. "The whole neighbourhood could, coffee?" He asked as he poured himself some black coffee making me even more embarrassed. I just looked down as he placed a mug of coffee infront of me and spoke, "what are you doing here?" He grumbled again and we were back to his blank expression. I thanked him and took a sip of my coffee, about to speak as I looked up at him only to notice that he wasnt wearing any shirt. The very first thing I saw was his blue and purple marks on the left side of his stomach. They weren't alot but there was a small patch of it. I could also see his six packs clearly with small almost faded round spots all over his stomach and some on his shoulders, you could barely even see them but they were there. Not thinking much about them I looked further down and noticed he was wearing sweat pants which were hanging low on his waist making his calvin klein underwear clearly visible. Taking another sip of coffee and enjoying my view I looked up to see him looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a blank expression, making me spit the coffee on his stomach, he stood there shocked with his hands raised up as he looked down at his stomach "what the -" "I'm so so so so sorry" I cut him off as I ran to get a tissue clean the mess I had made, "I'm really sorry, please don't murder me" I repeated making him push me away with my shoulders slightly "stop it, and I'm not murdering you. what are you doing here?" he questioned me rolling his eyes. He walked over to the sink wetting some tissue and cleaning himself up.
"Michael told me" I mumbled looking down, making him groan out aloud. "What did he tell you?"
"Just that you arrived at his door step, completely drunk, with bruised knuckles and shouted I quote 'I dont care and I wont let her die' I made the inverted comma sign with my hand. "It has nothing to do with you" "Dont lie, we both know it was ONLY to do with me" I emphasised on only, He briskly walked over to me and held my shoulders firmly and tightly making me flinch. I tried to get his hands off me but his grip only tightened "IT . HAD . NOTHING . TO . DO . WITH . YOU" he hissed at me. I took a deep breath and shakily answered refusing to give up "You can hurt me all you want, but we both know it had everything to do with me, but what I dont understand is why do you care? If I get beat? Even if I die, what's it to you?" He pushed my back to towards the fridge behind me, my back touching the front of  the fridge, making me grip the sides of the fridge firmly. He put both his hands on either side of my face and leaned in, making my heart beat faster, so fast that I thought he could hear it. Looking down at my lips then up at my eyes, he leaned in towards my neck and placed soft feather kisses all the way down. He brought his lips near my ear and he spoke so softly, making my anxiety worse with every passing moment. I almost couldn't breathe, and barely heard as he spoke "I'm not letting you die, I'm not letting another person die, do you understand?" He spoke his breath tickling my ear. I finally gained some strength to push him a little back and sliding down the fridge as my panic attack kicked in.