Never Thought

Chapter 7

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Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.
--------C. JoyBell C.

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Arriving at home I quickly showered and changed into my PJ's. The party started at 7:00 and it was only 4 right now. I had enough time to relax. It will only take me 10 minutes to get ready, its not like I have to doll up. Coming down the stairs after my shower I walked into the kitchen towards the fridge where I saw a yellow note stuck on it, confused I took it off the fridge and started to read it. 'don't you dare eat anything, thats your punishment for whoring around last night, I didn't get my dinner so neither will you, don't think you could sneak something out, I counted everything before I left' I could practically imagine him smirking as he wrote this. Sighing I put the apple back into the fridge and started making him his dinner. It was funny how starving his own daughter made him sleep peacefully at night. I am sure he had pretty good idea that I didn't eat anything last night, and the last amount of saving that I had was spend on the two biscuits which I bought at lunchtime in school. That's all i've had 2 biscuits since yesterday and now I wasn't allowed to eat at home aswell, knowing him, he'll deprive of food for 2-3 days until i'm on the verge of passing out, only then will he give me food and that too only a slice on toast. How could he treat his own daughter like that? How could he sleep peacefully knowing that his daughter hasn't had food since 2 days is beyond me. By the time I finished making his dinner it was already 6:45 I had 15 minutes to get ready. Lazily I walked upstairs and took out a baggy shirt and my light blue jeans. Putting them on, adding some make-up to cover my almost healed cheek along with putting my hair up in a messy ponytail, I grabbed my flats and walked downstairs to check the time It was already 7. I put the food in the microwave and his beer in the fridge grabbing my hoodie I walked out of the house praying to find Aiden there so I could apologize to him.

45 minutes later and getting lost thrice on my way, I was now finally standing outside a large house, The scene infront of me was like in movies or books. The music blared through the house, it was a miracle how the neighbours haven't complained yet, but I guess its a normal thing for them. Teenagers were wandering around the front garden, some walking in, others walking out and some throwing up in the bushes while their boyfriends or friends held their hair back. Cringing at the sight, I was already regretting agreeing to this. Damn you Ace. Slowly and self consciously I walked inside the house, only to find it full with a sea of people. Their were teenagers everywhere, swaying their hips with a red cup in their hand probably containing alcohol, whose smell had spread throughout the house. Squishing through the people I walked in the living room or so I thought it was considering the fact that it was really big. Looking around for a minute I noticed Ace standing there with his other friend, probably Michael I think but I couldn't find Aiden anywhere. Sighing I was about to turn around and leave when Ace caught my eye, his eyes lit up as he saw me and he waved at me like a mental person before pulling his friend and walking towards my direction. "hey egghead, when did you arrive?" he yelled above the music. "I-I just came 10minutes ago, I guess" I yelled back, or atleast tried to, he nodded his head and then gestured to his friend by my side who was looking at me with a knowing look in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. "This is Michael, he arrived back a few hours ago, this party is kinda for him." I nodded yelling a hello to him. Nodding to the music Ace gestured for me to come and dance but I quickly shook my head as a no "I can't dance" I yelled out to him. He only smirked at me before pulling my arm and leading me to the dance floor, I was almost hyperventilating as he pulled my arm but he didn't seem to notice as he started to dance around. Placing my hand to my chest and holding it with my other hand I looked around before finding the door and making my way out of it. Passing by the kitchen I briskly walked towards the back door which lead me to the back garden of the house. Inhaling some fresh air I kept my hand on my chest to even out my breathing. Tears started brimming in my eyes as I thought about how pathetic I just acted in front of all those people. Keeping my head low so no one sees my teary eyes I walked all the way to back of the garden, the sound of people and music fading. I walked upto a little bridge that was made over a small lake. Holding the railing lightly I looked down at the water and then up at the sky inhaling a shaky breath. Suddenly, I was startled by a voice beside me. "beautiful isn't it?" quickly wiping my eyes clean I turn my head to see Michael standing next to me with a gentle smile on his face. He had two cups in his hand and he offered me one, but quickly spoke again before I had a chance to speak. "dont worry, its not alcohol just some coke." taking it from him I took a sip before I spoke "what are you doing here?" "I saw you coming out here, looked like you could use some company." "why?" I questioned him. He looked at me confused for a second before answering "why what?" he said with a frown on his face. "why are you here? why are you standing with me right now? when you could be inside having a time of your life, I mean this party was thrown for you" I tried to reason out "why shouldn't I be here? I think I could make use of my time catching up with someone who was once very close to me instead of dancing, drinking and vomiting. Someone I know is uncomfortable with the surroundings, but what I dont get is that you weren't always like this, you use to like parties, sneaking out of the house at the age of 12 only to attend your best friends birthday party." he laughed a bit at the memory and then his face turned into concern. "What happened La La? what changed you so much that now you cant even bare to be touched by another person?"
I only looked at him shocked, unable to form any words "wha-t? how-w? you-u" with a slight shake of his head and a sad smile on his face he spoke "you don't remember me do you?" he asked. Unable to speak I only shook my head to say no. "does mickey ring a bell?" I frowned thinking of the name when realisation struck me "you-u are mickey? oh my god. I can't believe this-s. you-ur Mickey?" he only nodded his head in response grinning lightly. "The one and only ma'am" he said before doing a little bow, making me giggle. "you have changed so much." I mumbled still in awe of him. He was here, I can't believe my only friend that I ever had was standing right infront me. "you have changed more than me" he mumbled looking at me intently, like trying to solve a puzzle. Immediately my smile vanished and I turned my face back to the sky. "Things change mickey, I'm not who I use to be. Alot has happened in the last 5 years, its like I dont even remember the old me." I spoke softly more to myself than to him. Turning my head back towards him I quickly wiped a tear that had managed to escape and with a smile I changed the subject "so enough about me. lets talk about you, where have you been? last I remember was that your father moved to LA for a better job." he looked at me with concern eyes for a moment, but thankfully went along with a change of subject and answered me "yeah I was in LA, even Aiden was there with me along with Ace, we three became friends pretty fast and then after a year some things happened and Aiden decided to move here and us being his best friends supported him and decided to help him out, So here we are" I looked at him for a moment deciding not to press the matter further, it was clear that he didnt want to talk about the 'things' that happened so I let it go and only nodded. We fell into a comfortable silence both of us lost in our own thoughts staring at the water beneath us. After standing there for about 2 more minutes he spoke again "you know you can talk to me about anything, we use to be best friends after all." I sighed a little before answering him " I know, thanks it means alot" I told him softly. He had no idea how bad I wanted to hear someone say those words to me. Knowing the fact that someone was there for me, who wanted to help me, talk to me. Him only saying those words to me meant alot. "It was nice talking to you mickey, but I better get going, my dad's going to flip if i'm home late" I told him. He laughed a little in response before replying "how can I forget, Uncle bill, still protective as ever I see, say hi to him for me will you?" he grinned down at me. "yeah-h he's still really protective and I sure will" I spoke hesitantly. ohh he was protective but Michael had no idea that it wasn't for me anymore, it was about the fact that I dont spill to anyone about me begin his punching bag. "well i'll see you later" "yeah bye" mumbling a bye to him, I walked back inside the house almost forgetting the fact that I had to apologize to Aiden. Almost being the keyword because as I entered the house I went towards the bathroom to pee before I left, while coming out I spotted Aiden going down the stairs and taking a deep breath I yelled his name, hoping he would hear me over the music. Thankfully, he did, he turned around and looked straight at me running a hand through his hear and groaning loudly he walked back upto me. "what do you want?" he spoke rather harshly. "I-I wanted to apologize, for last night, I don't know you, you were right I shouldn't have judged you and called you a man-whore" he only raised his eyebrow in response his face remaining expressionless as always and his eyes cold and hard that could make anyone flinch. " Are you done?" nodding my head I looked down at the floor suddenly finding the tiles really interesting. "I don't need your fuckin apology, keep it to yourself. and just do me a favour and stay away from me. Don't call me, look at me or even walk the same way that I am. I don't care what you have to say. and frankly I dont think anybody does. cuz you know the person you are speaking to should be atleast a little attractive so even if they are speaking shit, you still stand a listen. but for you..." he looked me up and down and shook his head as if disgusted and walked back downstairs. Did he just called me ugly? Tears gather in my eyes and I ran downstairs heading out of the door running as fast as I could but I soon fell on my knees and a sob broke out from me. 'am I that ugly, that a someone can't even look at me? he's right, I am pathetic, ugly and fat. No one can ever like me. heck my father hates me how can I expect anyone else to like me.'

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