The Boy Who Paints Me (SAMPLE OF PUBLISHED BOOK)

The Boy Who Paints Me - Prologue (SAMPLE)

This is a sample of my published book THE BOY WHO PAINTS ME. If you like what you have read and would like to read more then you can download it for just $1.24/75p from Amazon today! I hope you enjoy it! Thanks and God Bless <33 xx

Dedication

To all those beautiful people that let someone convince them that they don’t deserve to be loved...you do...all of you!

Prologue

The tension in the room was so thick that you could slice it with a knife. I stood perfectly still, staring at him as his eyes roamed over my body. I gasped, soon realising that it was the first time that I had taken a breath, since I had asked him that question. His expression was filled with an emotion that I couldn't decipher. I wanted to escape, to run away, take it all back. It was impossible. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his golden brown eyes. He had me locked in a trance. We were speaking a silent language that only we understood. 

I was staring at him, yet I could see nothing. Instead my mind was replaying the last five minutes, willing them to start over so that I could take it all back. I shifted my eyes to the floor, hoping that I would become invisible.  Somehow - without the need to look at him - I knew that he was moving closer to me. I could feel it in my chest as my heart beat picked up pace. I felt the clammy feeling that consumed my hands. I felt the edges of my teeth graze my bottom lip before gently biting down. I glanced up at him, pleading with my eyes, begging him to walk away. He didn't. I knew he wouldn't.

He was stood in front of me, towering over my small frame. He was so close that I could feel every breath that he took, and they were getting faster. I mentally growled when my eyes locked on his, again. I couldn’t look away, and part of me – the more dominant part – didn’t want to. Something about his eyes offered me so much comfort, and peace but there was also a hint of danger, if you looked really close. He scared me. Not because I thought he would hurt me; I knew that he wouldn’t. I was scared of what he was doing to my heart. Every new encounter, he would take another piece of the shell that I had firmly placed around it. I had protected it, hidden it, and I was scared that once the pieces were removed, I could never put them back together again.

I tried to avoid looking at the stands of brown hair that fell into his eyes.

Touch them.

I willed the thought away because the want was so strong that I had to catch my breath. I was losing control, and I didn’t want him to see it. I wanted so badly to let my fingers gently brush them out of his face. I wanted to see his slightly crooked jaw line and his strong features. I wanted to stare into his eyes, and to feel as though he was staring into my soul but I couldn't. I wouldn't.

You want to.

I did but it was wrong. I ducked my head as I felt his presence draw nearer. He was close now, too close. I needed to keep up the facade, to pretend that I didn't want to know the answer. I wanted to pretend that I had never even asked.

"Rai," he whispered in a husky voice that was barely audible. His hand moved, slowly up the left side of my body until he was gently lifting my chin with the tip of his index finger. I closed my eyes, trying to hide that electric feeling that shot through me as his skin made contact with mine. I had to suppress the moan that wanted to escape my lips, caused by his touch. "To answer your question," he continued, causing my eyes to slowly flutter open. "No, I don't want to kiss you."

I tried to hide the disappointment on my face. I needed to pretend that those words didn't just enter the atmosphere, that they weren't real. I needed so much for him to act like he had never said those seven little words. I swallowed the lump that had gathered in my throat. I tried to hold my voice together because I couldn't let him see me right now. I couldn't let him know just how much his words had crushed me. I wouldn’t show him just how much power his words had over my emotions. I wasn’t even sure when he gained that level of control but I so desperately wanted it back; needed it back.

"I know...." I whispered as the tears burned at the back of my eyes, threatening to escape. He couldn’t see me cry; not again.

Stop! Just stop, because you knew this already. You can't have him, you can never have him!

I knew that the voice in my head was right, oh so right, but it still hurt. It hurt so damn bad, and I wasn't sure how long I could keep it together. I was so good at putting on a show but not with him, he had broken down walls that I wished he hadn't. He had awoken emotions that I laid to rest many years ago. Emotions that should be dead; they were dead.

"I don't want to kiss you...because I need to kiss you,” he said as his hand cupped the side of my cheek before sliding, gently into my jet black hair. I stood, confused, not quite sure what he was saying. I didn't speak, I just stood there, wanting to hear the words that I knew I shouldn't want to hear, shouldn't need to hear. He let the tip of his thumb glide gently over my cheek, tracing small circles. He let out a restrained moan as though he were fighting his own battle.

"You have no idea," he whispered as he stared into my eyes. "No idea...."

I watched as he searched my eyes as though he were trying to understand something, solve something. I looked away, needing him not to understand but secretly willing him to figure it out. He stopped moving his thumb and let it rest against my warm cheek as he took a deep breath.

 "Kissing you is the first thing that I think about when I wake up, the last thing that I think about before I go to sleep, and the only thing that I ever dream about. And the moment that I allow myself to kiss you,” he said before gently, wetting his lips with his tongue, “I’m never letting you go. When I'm sure that you're ready to accept that, then, and only then, will I kiss you, the way that I've wanted to kiss you, since the day that you walked into my life."

I stood frozen, in a daze as I tried to make sense of his words. I had completely lost the ability to speak the English language as I stood there, dumbfounded. He placed his free hand on my waist before slowly pulling me towards him and planting a single, soft kiss on my forehead. If I wasn't focusing, I may have missed the fact that his lips lingered on my skin a little longer than the kiss had lasted, but I didn't miss it. He dropped his hand to the side of his body before walking towards the door, leaving me even more confused than before. He paused for a moment as his hand made contact with the doorknob.

"Night, Rai."

Then, he was gone....