My not so perfect body

chapter 1: I'm fat. It's a fact.

okay so chapter one. Ugh I'm so nervous to write this. I'm getting anxiety . but I'll be fine. So I hope someone out there will like this. I would like everyone to be nothing but honest with me. That will help me be better at writing. So okay so lets just start...~~~~

"There he is! There he is!" I said looking up from my book to the boy with golden hair. "Oh, he's so cute. It's crazy that someone like him goes to our school."

"Why don't you go talk to him like a normal person instead of being a weirdo hiding behind your book and drooling." My friend responded not looking up from her phone. I looked away and blushed. " N-no I'm perfectly fine sitting here and admiring from a distance thank you very much." Lisa groaned and rolled her eyes at me.

"Stevie, you've had a major crush on him since the 6th grade. And not once have you tried talking to him..." I opened my mouth and put my pointer finger in front of me to point something out when she continued talking. " And him asking you if he can borrow a pencil during english class does not count. He didn't even give it back to you, and that was 2 years ago."I blushed closing my mouth and putting my hand back down in defeat. I couldn't help it though, he was giving me the puppy dog eyes when asking for my pencil.

It's the same lecture from her. I rolled my eyes, placed my chin on the palm of my hand and took a look around my surroundings. Today was the last day of school and people decided to celebrate and go to the ice cream shop a block away from the school. Lisa wanted to go and get some ice cream but wanted me to go with her. I declined at first, because I didn't feel comfortable being around people having them stare at my rolls and fat belly and rather go home hide my body under a blanket and watch a movie. She offered to pay for my ice cream and before I knew it, I was sitting across from Lisa eating my cookie dough ice-cream topped with sprinkles.

I thought we were going to get our ice-cream then go home and watch Disney movies or youtube videos. Either one sounded fine with me, but I guess not. What I didn't expect was to see Andrew with his buddies and some girls from the cheerleading squad laughing and eating ice cream. Well, obviously eating ice cream, but you know what I mean.

Its true that I have a big crush on Andrew that's the size of the moon and I get butterflies when ever I think about him.He has light blonde hair that is combed up and messy as if he barely woke up and light skin that is so light I may have to wear sunglasses when ever I want to stare at him, his eyes are the shade of the ocean. A very dark blue that makes me want to swim in them all day and night, And his smile. Ugh his smile literally makes my entire day. so bright and warm. When ever he smiles it makes me want to smile as well. I really want him to notice me, Acknowledge my existence, to like me the way I like him. But I know he doesn't. Why? You may ask. Because I'm fat. It's a fact.

"Stevie! Are you even listening?" I blinked and moved my eyes to an annoyed Lisa.

"Uh ya, of course I am Lisa." I laughed nervously

"Oh really," She said leaning back on her chair and folded her arms "then what did I say?"

Dang it, okay what was she talking about before I zoned out. She hates it when I ignore her whenever she's talking about something, but I wasn't, I was just kindly blocking her out before she made my ears bleed with all her talking. ooh okay. I'll just make something up.

"Something about flying pizza?" I said confidently.

She looked at me for a minute as if I seriously went bonkers.

" Yes Stevie. That's exactly what I was talking about." She said, showing me her million dollar smile and bright white teeth. "Really?" I said hopefully. Hoping I got it right this time.

"No." She said looking away crossing her arms and pouting.

"Oh." I said feeling guilty. " Im sorry Lisa. I was day dreaming again." I feel like I have a terrible condition to always zoning out wherever I go, It just happens though. I tend to zone out whether its at school, grocery shopping with my mum, talking with people I barely meet or when I'm alone. And when I come to, I forget everything they tell me. And sometimes forget where I am. Lisa knows about me zoning out a lot and said I have a short focus to things I find uninteresting and to not worry about it. Things like this make me labeled as the freak at school, always looking at nothing with a blank unreadable look on my face.

" I know you were. I wonder sometimes why I'm even friends with you." she said mumbling. "Because you love me and I'm fun to be around, I know your secrets and plus I can make a mean pepperoni pizza shall I go on?" I said counting off my fingers.

"Oh yeah, thats why." We both laughed and we went back to finishing out ice cream.

"Come on, I'm done lets get out of here." Lisa suggested, I nodded my head really fast wanting to get out of here.I feel like people are staring at me and I'm getting really anxious and fidgety. Maybe she noticed.

When she was getting up to throw away her ice cream cup her shirt riled up enough to see her flat, hard stomach. Some of the guys from Andrews group started to whistle at her. She smirked and shook her head, of course she was used to this kind of attention. From my point of view they were staring at her butt when she turned around to throw her cup away. The guys were bitting their lip and looked as if they were undressing her with their eyes.Did I mention that unlike me she is really popular with the guys and...people in general. Some of the guys got smacked on the head from there girlfriends and had to look away. Even Andrew was checking her out.

Lisa and I have been friends since we were in diapers and we became the dynamic duo. She had my back and I had hers. But I was always jealous of her for being so naturally beautiful and fit, completely different then me in the looks department. She has long curly brown hair with highlights and I have long black straight dull hair. She has Light tan skin for being out in the sun ever day and my skin doesn't even know what sunlight is. Her eyes are a light hazel that changed color from a yellow-brown to a green- brown depending on her mood. While mine were a poop brown color that went from a dark brown to a dark, DARK brown, depending on my mood. Her boobs big, mine...not so much. But something we did share is we both have big butts. I have mix feelings about my butt and my entire body altogether. I didn't like showing off my body so I would usually wear loose jeans and shirt. I am a book worm and she has a dancers body only because she was. But not only was she gorgeous, she was also a down to earth girl that loves to help out hurt little creatures and loves to give her time at the animal shelter on Saturdays. And I loved that about her. She wasn't like those stuck up mean girls at school that think they're all that just because they are stunning, she was humble, smart, and had class.

"Hellloo, Stevie. Stop zoning out and lets go." She flicked her hair back, grabbed her bag and hooked it on her shoulder. She started to walk to the door to her car. As I got up I took one last look at Andrew, by now he went back to chatting with his friends, not even knowing I was here with Lisa and walked out of the shop disappointed.

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oookay so theres that. sorry if thats a lot of information. but ya leave a comment if you like it so far. its 12:14 am and I'm not tired yet. ill probably keep writing till I'm sleepy.