Hiccup gay romance

Warmth

I turned around in my bed, trying to stop thinking about all the things that were wrong, just so I could sleep. I really wanted to sleep, I had to sleep. I was the chief, I had to be at my best tomorrow. Or more like always, but especially the coming days. But whatever I did, my thoughts kept going back the the deadly nadders and what happened today. We almost died. Our careless adventures were no more. This enemy knew what they were doing.

I hit the bed with my fist and sat right up. Whatever, I just couldn't sleep. I better did something to distract me. I stood up and pulled the curtain back a bit. I looked though my window outside. Our village.

Someone was sitting on the bench on the side of the road. Was it? Based on his posture, it had to be Emil. I guess I wasn't the only one who could'nt sleep. 

Should I check up on him? Maybe it's weird. Me and him alone at night. But also, I don't want to dodge him. I'm sure we can be good friends. But... I like him. A lot. It... It has to stop so, I really shouldn't look for him. No. It's fine. I can just go there as a friend. Obviously something is wrong. Otherwise he wouldn't be sitting there alone in the middle of the night.

I stood up, put on some clothes and headed towards him.

Emil turned around quickly as I approached. 'Hiccup?'

I put up my hand. 'Hey, I saw you through the window. I hope I'm not disturbing you.'

Emil shaked his head. 'Of course not.' 

I sat down next to him. 'You know you can leave right?'

Emil turned around? 'What?'

'You know, you just got here. I wouldn't blame you if you would look for somewhere safer.' God I really didn't want him to leave.

'What? No! I'm not gonna leave you behind! And the others of course.' 

'I'm sorry.'

Emil sighs. 'It's fine. I know you mean well. You always do.' He looks me in the eyes, cute, but he also seems trying to read me. 

'I don't want you to be put in dangerous because of our village. If something would happen to you...'

'What if something happened to you? What if I left? I wouldn't know what would happen to you...'

Emil stared into my eyes. I wanted to kiss him so bad.

'Is it really not possible?' Emil said.

'What do you mean?' I asked, confused.

Emil shaked his head. 'You know.'

I looked into his eyes again. Yeah, I did know. A shiver traveled though my body, ending up in my stomach where it stayed. 'Wait, so...' I look away. 'You?'

'It's obvious, isn't it?' Emil said.

I scuffed. 'Not for me.'

'I wanna be with you.' Emil whispers. I turned around and looked him in the eyes.

'We can't...' I whispered back. 

Emil put his hand on mine. 'I don't care if we have to keep it secret.'

I shook my head. 'They would find out eventually. It's too risky.'

Emil stands up, frustrated and turns around, facing me. 'You're the chief. Why would you care. In my village it was the most normal thing on the world.'

I clenched my jaw. 'This is not your village. It doesn't work like that.'

'Yes! And it never will if you don't do anything! You're the one in power, if you don't do anything now, it will never change!'

'Please, just stop.' I couldn't handle this. Not now. There were too many problems. I shouldn't have fking left my bed.

'No, you know I'm right. I'm not just gonna give up cause it's hard, and neither should you. It's too important.

I stood up. 'Important? Really? You think this is important? This is the least fking important of everything going on right now. I. CAN'T. HANDLE. THIS. OK? It's too much! Leave me be! I shouted while clenching my fists. I turn around, my back facing Emil while I breathe heavily.

'No, I'm not gonna leave you... I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were... like this. But I guess I should have known. You can decide when you're ready. I'll be here as a friend, ok?

'Yeah.' I'm still turned around. 'Good night.' I walk back home, without looking back. Emil must have seen my hands shaking, heard my loud breathing. It was so emberassing. Everything was embarassing. I was always so good in holding my composure, but shit. It's too much. 

This was so bitter sweet. He was into me. That's all I wanted, but we can't. Especially not now. We needed unity. Except between the two of us.