Second chance mate

chapter 14 (final draft)

When Ariel woke up next morning, the sun still hadn't fully risen yet. She had gone to sleep early last night so it was reasonable that she woke so early too. She got out of bed and dressed. The house was too quiet. She walked with small soundless footsteps to the living room from where she heard the sound of someone talking.
"Can't sleep?" Cam was asking.
"Can't turn my brain off. Was she pregnant? If yes, what happened? Did my brother know? If he did, why didn't he tell me? If no, why didn't she tell him? What happened to the pup? Did she abort him? Did she miscarry? Did she give it away? Did her parents know? When was she pregnant exactly? Was it when he was alive? Did he know? Was he happy or did they fight over it? Did he want a girl or a boy? Was it early for him? The pup would have been the future alpha, did Adrian want that for him? What were his plans for it?"
Before he could voice out more of the questions, she cut him off. This wasn't exactly how she wanted to tell him but she had already planned to tell him today. Otherwise she wouldn't have made such a bold move.
"Yes, I was pregnant." She said leaning against the door. "You saw the carving I suppose?" She addressed Axel, who nodded in response. "So you want an explanation?"
He again merely nodded, watching her carefully. She didn't look mad.
"Relax, I am not mad. I understand why you want to know. After all it's about your nephew and the future alpha."
"Boy?" He asked her.
"Your brother was the only one who knew other than the pack doctor. It was a boy. I was about three months along. When he died and my wolf left me, the pain was too bad. Too severe for me to endure let alone for my pup. I might have saved him had it not been for the continuous new pains of the pack. I didn't have my wolf so I couldn't form shields to protect myself. Couldn't protect him no matter what. I went into early labor ten minutes after his father died."
She blinked her tears away and gulped them down. Her voice shook as she continued.
"I had to crawl to the closest road. A car stopped and saw me covered in blood. He took me to the hospital. I got treated for a bit in a human hospital. Then I left."
She looked at him, her gaze soft.
"He had wanted a girl originally." She informed him. She really was answering his questions, all of them. "But when he thought it through, he said the first one should be a boy. I called him a sexist."
He frowned. His brother was not a sexist. He let her dominate him. It was never a problem for him.
"Then he explained that if the first pup was a girl, it would make her an alpha. People would cause her problems like they had for me. They would demand she mate with an alpha or at least a beta. He didn't want her to go through that. He said it had been hard for me. He wouldn't be able to see her like that. You see he wanted her to feel the love that comes with the true bond."
Axel smiled. It sounded like him. Overprotective, loving.
"Not that he really cared what the gender was. It would be his." She smiled a little. "When I thought I was pregnant and he found out, he was on cloud nine. And when he found out it was a boy, he was ecstatic. He said the second one should be a girl. He wanted a princess. His little princess so he could spoil her rotten."
A lonely tear fell down her cheeks. She didn't clean it because soon more followed. Silent tears fell down her cheeks but she was down a memory lane.
"I told him he was being unfair to the pup. Teased him of favoritism. He was appalled. He said that he loved the boy just as much as he would love the girl. But he wanted a girl too. He wanted to prepare me."
She let out a chuckle. Her pain was echoing to them through the link but she was oblivious to it. They finally realized that she was able to mind-link but they didn't think she knew that she had opened some of the link to them. Because if she knew, she would erect boundaries again.
"Anyways, he wanted to name him Zane. I refused. There's was no way I was going to name my child Zane. He then said he wanted it as a middle name. I gave him a break and agreed."
She became quiet. He waited patiently but when it was apparent she needed to be reminded that she was here with us, he said, "What was the first name you decided?"
"I hadn't. Not by the time he died. So I just call him Zane now." She shrugged.
"Why didn't you guys tell us? Why didn't he tell me? Did the alpha know?"
She shook her head. "No one knew. He wanted me to himself. He said if anyone knew and it got out, they would want a piece of me and it would add to my stress levels. He said I was already a hot headed alpha, I didn't need more stress. We would have told you in a few weeks." She glanced at him with a small smile. "He wanted to tell you. But his wolf wanted to assure his mate's and his pup's safety."
Now that he understand.
"How did you hide your scent?" Tobias asked an important question. A she-wolf's scent changed when she got pregnant.
"We alphas can do lots of things including hiding our scents. No one ever noticed that I didn't have a scent because the pack house is full of different scents." She explained. "I think I answered your questions?"
"No!" Axel shook his head.
"What's left?"
"Did he survive? The pup?" He asked her.
She gave him a small smile and nodded, her happiness bursting through the link.
"He did?" Axel asked, not sure how to respond. How did he respond to that? His dead brother's son was alive. He felt tears in his eyes and blinked, trying to push them back but instead, he felt a couple go down his cheeks.
Ariel saw them and leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. "I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I really didn't know how to tell you."
"How about 'Hey, Axel, I was pregnant and you have a nephew?'" Axel responded, sounding slightly pissed. "Where is he? Why isn't he here?"
"You don't understand how hard it is." She responded, lowering her head.
"What don't I understand?" He snapped, standing up and turning his back to her.
She didn't even have the strength to be angry about his disrespect.
"I don't understand that you hid my nephew from me? I don't understand that you lied to me? I don't understand that you abandoned my nephew, your son? I don't understand that my nephew is out there somewhere without a father or a mother?"
"You don't understand." She whispered.
"I think I understand well enough!" He whirled around to face her.
"No! You don't!" She stood up, a hand on the wall to steady herself. She was draining herself. The visit to the grave, the call she had made before that and now this. She was draining herself dry. "You don't understand how hard it was to lose him. You don't know how painful that day was. You think it was hard for you, Axel? You soul wasn't ripped from you. You didn't lose your wolf. You didn't go into labor and deliver a healthy wolf pup while your body was weaker than an average human's. Without meds or anything to relieve the pain. You didn't go into a coma for weeks, Axel."
She paused to pull away from the wall.
"It's hard to even look at you without seeing my dead mate, let alone talk to you about the pup he left behind. Hell, Axel, do you know how hard it is to live with the fact that I can't look at my son? Do you understand how unworthy I feel of the love my mate gave me or the respect you guys give me when I can't hold my son? Adrian made me run that day so our pup could live and so that I could raise him. But I can't look at him. I can't hold him. It was hard to abandon him but it was even harder to be around him. It killed me... it kills me that I felt a resentment towards my pup because I had to live for him while my mate was dead. It kills me that I went down a path so dark that..."
She broke off, not ready to relive the dark path. Her breathing became heavier as the memories assaulted her.
The pack felt her pain and self-hatred in the link as she turned away from them and gripped the wall. River moved closer, knowing she was having a panic attack, about to faint. He caught her as she fell, picking her up, he ignored everyone else put her on the couch. He checked her pulse and then covered her up, letting her rest, knowing she'd be fine. Except for the headache when she woke.
"Is she okay?" Axel asked, his tone slightly hesitant.
River looked at him impassively. "She isn't ready for stress, Axel. She needs to heal, we can't push her. We have no idea what she went through or currently going through. We can't assume that we understand and we can't push her unless she is ready to."
Axel nodded, his face showing his remorse. He knew he had pushed her and he knew he had no right, he had broken his promise to his brother. But his emotions had overwhelmed to the point that he didn't know what he was doing. He had taken it out on her.
Slowly the pack went to their duties but Axel sat vigil on the couch opposite of her. It was hours before she stirred but she merely turned to her side and went back to sleep. Axel stood up and went to the kitchen. He heated her breakfast plate and took the tablets River had put aside for her and walked to the lounge. He put the tray on the coffee table and went to kneel beside the couch she was laying on.
Just in time for her to open her eyes. She gripped her head, a grimace of pain on her face.
"Come on, sit." Axel spoke quietly and helped her sit up. He gave her the tray and watched on until she had cleaned her plate and taken the tablets. Then he stood up to put the tray away. When he turned back, she was trying to stand up. "Let them take effect."
She nodded and sat back down.
He kneeled beside her feet and lowered his head. "I am sorry, Alpha. For disrespecting you and for pushing you. I will take whatever punishment you give."
She sighed. "Axel, it's okay. You were talking to your sister, not your alpha." She gripped his shoulder and he raised his head to meet her eyes.
"I am still sorry, Ariel. Alpha or sister, I still did something I shouldn't have. Betas and brothers don't do that. They don't hurt their sisters like that." HE whispered. "I am so sorry."
"You were angry, Axe. I knew you would be. You had every right to be. If you weren't, I would be worried about you." She tried to smile. "I forgive you. But for future, please remember I don't mean to be how I am..." She broke off and looked away.
He sat on the couch and pulled her in his arms, kissing her head. "You aren't a bad person, Ari. Whatever the situation pushed you to do, wasn't your fault. You are still worthy of Ade's love and our respect. Ade would never hate you for whatever happened."
She just let out a sigh. He pulled away and looked in her eyes sternly.
"IS Zane safe?"
"Yes."
"Is he healthy?"
"Yes."
"Did you abandon him forever?"
"Just until I was stable enough." She said.
"Then there's no reason for anyone to be angry at you." He concluded firmly. "I let my emotions get out of hand. It isn't your fault."
She didn't give him an answer and he knew that no matter what he said, she wouldn't listen to him.