I Love You! Asshole.

TEN

A/N: 

Fact: I've never eaten in IHOP and I've lived in NY for a year now. Shit? I actually had to search the menu up lmao.

"Are you sure about this?" Logan asks me as I pulled up the mansion.

"No. I'm not. But I wanna get it over with and say my apology so that I can forward on." I answered.

"Okay, I understand. Just know that you're apologizing for yourself and not for you mother because you have done absolutely nothing wrong." Logan coaxes. I get his point, but I'm apologizing for my mother's sake. And I know that personally.

I gave him a smile before walking out the truck towards the front door. The house looked the same as I left; lonely. I could feel the nostalgia of running around this house when I learned how to walk to bringing home a girl. And to bringing Jake here. But I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head as I approached my father who was the front door.

He hugged me but I didn't return it, I wasn't exactly up for that yet.

"'Should we get going?" My dad asks and Logan and I nod our head.

He leads us to his car which was a Range Rover Evoque. This was considered our family car when we would go to church together which was extremely rare. But I remember jumping in the back seat and the child seat removed when I was too old for it.

I really appreciated Logan. He always gave me moral support and I did so to him. I sat impatiently in the back seat as my dad drove the hill. 

I checked my phone evetually, waiyingn for message from Jake which never happened. I think that it's really his fault but I can see why he's mad at me but still, still his fault.

+++

I faced her tomb stone. It's a pretty typical design. I didn't stare too long until I kneeled down and touching it with my hands. Knowing that the person that birthed me was 10 feet underground scared me. But people come and go. Even if you don't want them to.

"I'm so sorry for being this way. I'm sorry for making you feel guilty. I'll straighten my life and make you and papa proud. I love you momma," I whispered before standing back up.

My dad kneeled down and had his moment with my mom as Logan just stood there. Pretty sure this was awkward for him but he insisted he'll come just in case I have som break down and my dad has no idea how to control it. 

I glanced at my mother's grave one last time before we started to head to the car. The car drive was silence. We were on our way to Ihop for some lunch. Where I ordered a Blue Cheese and Bacon burger along with some soda as Logan stayed to the sandwiches as he was too 'shy' since my dad was paying. 

But I bet you later on I'll offer to buy him an expensive ass meal and he won't even think twice about it.

"So son, where've you stayed this whole year?" My dad asks me, taking a bite of his Fried Steak.

"Lived in my Ram. On some cliff uptown," I explained.

"Ohh, you made it that long? I thought you stayed with that guy you were with. You guys still together right?" My dad inquires. It was weird how the last time we talked about me all over a guy, he kicked me out and now he was bringing up over the table.

"Not really. I spent some time with him a few days ago and things happened and the ofllowing morning he's all up another guy." I rolled my eyes.

"Woah, what the hell?" He jolts.

"Yeah, he even had the guts to turn it around and get mad at me for a year. But I mean, how could you ring your 'ex', tell them you love them and that you miss them, then sleep with them and the following morning be down somebody's." I grumbled.

"How trivial." I couldn't tell if he was just saying all these just to get me to move in with him. My dad was very hard to read.

"So d'you still go on trips? I mean, it's mid-October and you're here. You're usually half way across the world or something," 

"I do travel. Not much though, just around three times a year and it's usually just to a different state. I also sold some of our old properties and cars as I'm thinking of retiring soon. And don't worry, I didn't sell your cars and the getaway at Florida. I knew you would kill me if I did so."

"Oh. You're barely 50 though.."

"I know, I just think an entirely retirement is what I'm cut out for. Maybe I can focus on you and catch up with my son. And are you moving back in? It's obviously up to you as you're 19 now but it would be nice."

"It'll take some time,"