I Love You! Asshole.

ELEVEN

A/N: Is that how you spell 11?

I meant what I said to my mom about making my parents proud. I've been studying online, burying myself in my course to pursue design. I moved in with my dad shortly after the visit to my mom's grave and I'd visit her every once in a while. I've been doing the course for about two months now and I'm at 85% to graduating.

And as for Jake, I haven't heard from him. But I give him by best wishes to his happiness. Maybe we really weren't cut out for each other. And people come and go even if you move mountains for them not to, they will eventually. I learned that the hard way.

I opened the door when my girlfriend Kirstie was standing in the front step. She was utterly beautiful and her personality was mind blowing. I haven't told her about Jake and my whole sexuality but I know I'll have to tell her eventually.

I like to convince myself that I am happy with Kirstie. I mean, it's how it's supposed to work right? She fullfills my needs, takes care of me and loves me. I do that same for her however I'm not positive about my feelings for her. And I know it's unfair for her but we're doing good.

I pecked her lips lightly before she walked in and sat on the couch. My dad was in Ireland or something, saying he's on a little getaway with his friends before he retires. I set my mac and a few papers aside to make some space for the two of us.

"Studying again? Seriously, give yourself a break. You need it, look at he bags under your eyes!" She recommends.

Kirstie knows how I want to graduate by the end of this month and that the reason why I didn't graduate a year ago was because I got into a car accident.

I'm been going out with Kirstie for about a month now and my dad hasn't officially met her yet but he knows about us. He even told me if it was what I really wanted: a girl. He assured me that if I wanted to bring a guy home, I could. But how could I possibly turn down Kirstie?

She was a model back in Bulgaria and came to New York to pursue more of her career.

I don't consider her a distraction. Of course not. I'm still just learning to love her. That's the term for it.

"I need to graduate by the end of this month which is in two weeks so I'm fucked," I uttered.

"Remind me again why you're giving yourself a deadline?" She questions.

To be honest, I don't know myself either. I just know that I have an urge to jump on a plane and travel the world.

"Priorities," I lied.

She shrugged her shoulders and I picked up my bag of Doritos of the floor and offered her some. She grabbed the bag and turned it to look at the calories. What a surprise. I don't get it, why are girls so obsessed with the calories? I mean, ya need to eat at least 3,000 calories to earn a pound and hell knows girls don't even go up to 1,500 and they don't even notice it.

"Are you fucking kidding me!? There are at least 50 calories per chip," She exclaims throwing the bag at me.

"That's why it's so filling stupid. After around five chips you'll be bloated and that's only 250 calories. Consider it a low calorie lunch because usually lunches take up to 500-600." I chanted. The only reason I really know is because Kirstie is always telling me to be mindful of the calories and what I put in my body since I don't have a forever to be young.

"Yeah but what if I get carried away? I'll hate myself for it.." She pouts.

"What is there to lose with eating a few extra calories anyways?" I debated.

"Uhm, that's the thing. I don't lose anything, I gain something and that's not the goal. The goal is to be a size two." I roll my yes, how bloody ridiculous.

"No, the goal is to treat your body right. You can have a BMI of 24 and have a perfectly shaped booty and a good health. You can have a BMI of 14 and you can have the body and health of a skeleton." I dragged that fact, rubbing it in her face as I really didn't like the whole "must be skinny" thing. In fact, I hated it.

"Yeah but I don't want to be a plus size model." She frowns.

"I don't even get the whole 'plus size' thing. Like can't you just be a model? You don't need to fucking label it," I snapped.

"Yeah you do!" She retorts back.

"This is ridiculous," I choked, taking a Dorito and enjoying the life of it.

Kirstie turned the TV on and an episode of KUWTK was on. She cuddled into my arms and even ate one chip but nibbled on it slowly. I rubbed her shoulder lightly as we watched.

"I love you," She whispers.

I didn't reply.