I Love You! Asshole.

FOURTEEN

Jake Faye's POV

I ignored Ty's rage and threats to pressing charges against Alex Owen. But I knew Ty would be too terrified to go up to the police to press charges as he himself had pissed off some officers during his teen years, he still does actually.

"Jake!" He snaps a finger in front of my face. "Are you even listening?"

"Yeah," I lied. 

The instant I heard him refer to Alex as an asshole, I spaced out. Alex kissed me. The feelings I had for him that I locked up in a box and threw out at sea was restored. It wasn't even a proper kiss. It was a smack on gloppy one but it was enough to bring those emotions again.

"I'm going to bed," I announced which stopped Ty from rambling and I pushed him aside as I walked over to the end of the hallway in our shitty apartment in Queens.

I changed out of my skinny jeans and climbed into bed in nothing but my boxers. I'm just hoping Ty doesn't try do anything kinky with me as I really wasn't up for anything.

I hugged the pillow as I had  some privacy which would probably only last for a minute as I processed my thoughts.

Alex jumped on me. How could he though? I saw him the other night in the VIP audience with a pretty brunette and they were cuddling. They looked madly in love and Alex would kiss her forehead every once in a while and the pretty girl would blush and they'd even cuddle more.

I felt Ty sneak in behind me and he laced his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He placed his lips closely to my ear and whispered, "I love you,"

I didn't reply. I never did.

+++

I woke up before Ty did. It wasn't unusual considering he would sleep in until 3:00 pm. I dreaded the idea of that as I liked to get before sunrise as I loved watching it compared to watching the sunset.

I changed into some sweatpants and my white tee, grabbed my pack and phone and walking out the apartment and climbing a few sets of stairs to get to the rooftop. There I knew I could watch the sunrise and be in peace, sort of.

I placed a lit cigarette between my lips, took a long draw and exhaling it hoping I could do just that with the burdens I carry.

I know deep down my cold heart, I loved Ty. Maybe not just as much as I did  to Alex. Yeah that's right, did. The past tense. That's what I've been convincing myself until last night. I still love Alex.

Even though he left me and I, dumb enough to hook up with Ty, still love Alex. I know Alex hates me. It was low of me to sleep with him even though I'm in a 'committed relationship'. Maybe all I had for Ty was lust, I don't know. If 'destiny' did bring Alex and I together, I'd let it. But I don't believe in destiny, I believed in fighting.

I believed in fighting for the one you love. Something Alex lacked. And I lacked in too. I truly fought for Alex and I. I tried making it clear to some people that Alex wasn't dead and he was just somewhere in peace. But who was I to get people to believe in me when he had some make shift tomb stone and death certificate.

For a month, I worried for Alex. Then slowly I started to believe that he was dead. But that wasn't a fact to me, it was just a rumor. So I had to find someone new and that was who Ty was. Someone new that I let enter my life and replace Alex's place. It was absurd. I still had him in my mind.

I wish I was able to explain to Alex why I slept with him then was down Ty's throat the following morning before he could even runaway, again. But I don't blame him, I would've done it too. So I hated myself for months until I decided to do Broadway which took my mind off it. But I still felt disgusted with myself.

Ty knew a lot about Alex and he declared that I was his and only his. So Ty hated Alex even when he was 'dead'.

I sighed before throwing my cigarette in the disposal before walking back down before I would get blinded by the sun drastically. 

I walked over to our apartment to see Ty still sleeping as I grabbed some leftover pizza and sitting on the couch and watching TV. 

There was nothing to do today until tonight as it was the last night of doing Grease for the fourth time. If Ty tries to touch me, I'd probably feel like I was cheating on Alex.