All I Have

vii

Victoria POV

"Am I the one...who did that to her?" I asked once my brother came inside my room my body still shaken specially my hand

Sitting down on the floor by the corner of my bed,still tears pouring down my face..I couldn't believe my self I had done that to the only person who insisted to be there for me,to be there to support me and wait till I'm ready to face the real world that consist of the most craziest but scariest thing I'll be needing to face no matter what and that is falling in love..

But seeing her slumped down on the corner of that cage all face bruised up and bleeding,it broke me...

My feelings for Jessamyn got stronger and bigger once those months passed by,each day I tried to opened up to her and we're getting there..But that night I  ended up at the underground,I didnt know what's got into me that I felt the need to release something and that's what I did..

I went back to where in the first place I shouldn't be at,where my past started and how I ended up in this kind of state of mind.

And all this years I thought being away from it for so many years and now I've got  jessamyn with me I thought one time being there just to clear my mind will be just really a one time thing...
But it didn't,I kept on going back there making lies after lies not only to my brother but also to Jessamyn.saying I've been all around the place organizing my upcoming residency..

That day Jess saw me with some bruises here and there was a bit unnerving to lie with someone who means a lot to me face to face,and I know she's just giving me the benefit of the doubt..I know that she knows my bruises aren't from just one of my judo mate having a play fight..she knows but she choose to believe me..

"Why? Katerina?i thought you left that dark place for good...why now ?"he asked and even we're not lookin at each other even if my back is against his,I know how sad,heart broken my brother is for me..

In everything what had happened to my life my brothers the one who continuously help and pick me up and love me like I wasn't and never been broken nor messed up..He saw me at my rock bottom,and he saw me so In love,happy and he saw me in all everything I had gone through and what I had become.

And that ends us both to give our words to each other that I will never go back to that place,because again he knows what and where that place took me.

"I'm sorry...I truly are"I said barely a whisper my voice crack as I'm doing my best not to cry

"Please tell everyone my apologies.."I said

"i don't know anymore if I'll ever be able to pull you out from that place again,I don't want to stick around anymore to see you break apart like what had happened...I'm done trying to pick up the broken pieces you continuously throw away"

My heart ache in every word he says,how he says it...He's all I've got and now I made another huge mistake and by that,he got tired...

I nodded my head as I heard him sigh..

"I'll be getting my stuff out by tomorrow"I whisper an okay..

But when I heard my door clicked I let my self fall down and burst out crying..I didn't know how long I'll be cryin but I could cry the rest of my useless life for all I care..

I've hurt the person I wanted to be with me by my side the person I feel warmth and loved,and now I just lost the person who's been my everything through out...

I woke up from the cold wooden floor of my room because of the loud screams outside my room,I slowly got up only to see my white carpet that surrounds my bed has a blood stain in it..then I realized what had happened..what I had lost just hours ago.