8/4/2015

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It's the second day of school. I'm in the last period, Spanish 2. We just took a test to see what we know, but I guessed on everything because I have no idea. Mila texted me that her and Madison got into a fight at lunch, and I wonder what it was about. She said Madison is mad at her and I have a feeling I could be part of the problem. I don't know if that could be good or not.. Augie doesn't even go to this school yet. He's not enrolled. What a great way to start the year, am I right? I'm so confused about him. Does he love me? Yes. Do I love him? I'm not sure anymore. I don't know how to feel about Mila either. I have feelings for her, but I don't think I could be with her. My cheer coach probably wouldn't be okay with that. I am also not sure if I want to lose Augie. I can't read my own emotions. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't know how deep I am an with Mila except for the fact that it hurts when I see how 'happy' she is with Madison. Does that mean I like her? I know that I did but I stopped that because she told me we had to and now that she changed her mind, I don't know. I think about all the memories I have with Aug and it makes me sad. I'm afraid I'll regret it if I let go of him. If its meant to be maybe we'll end up together later on? I used to be terrified of being alone but I don't know anymore. It might be kinda nice to be single. Auggie is in so deep though and I don't want to hurt him. I wish polygomy was an option at this point. Maybe I'm just selfish. Or afraid. But I really don't know what I want anymore. I guess I'll wait it out for a little? I'm almost to a year with Aug. That's crazy. But I'm just not happy with him anymore. Not right now anyways
Fuckkk meeee

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