Not a princess I wanna be a prince. (The story of a transgendered person)

Boredom and aggravation

So today my mom and I got in this really big fight because she still calls me by female pronouns. I calmly looked at her and asked if she would please try harder to call me by the correct pronouns and she started yelling at me saying she doesn't call me female pronouns even though she does. She also told me that I don't need to be worrying about being transgender or my gender dysphoria right now that I should be more focused on getting my disability started and getting my testing done. I have a seizure disorder and Aspergers on top of being transgender. Lucky me I sure was blessed (notice the sarcasm) but I do understand that my moms worrying about getting me set up and everything for the future I just wish she would understand how it makes me cringe every time I get referred to as female. Ever since I was little I would run around with all of my male cousins shirtless and I constantly told my parents at the age of five "I'm a boy." Of course my parents didn't think anything about it but they should have noticed since I hated barbies, makeup and anything girly. Growing up I loved power rangers, Pokemon and especially playing in the mud and dirt. Dolls bored me and I hated being stuck with the girls. Luckily I was placed in special Ed and I got to be with the guys because I was the only "girl" and the guys in my school always accepted me as one of the guys. They kind of knew that I hated female pronouns and being a girl. The only people who ridiculed me for being different were the girls in my school. Then once I started getting older my grandmother decided to take control of what I wore and literally bought all of my clothes and forced me to have long hair. My mother eventually told her to back off and let me be myself. My grandmother is extremely judgmental and she hates basically everything I do/like. Every time I see her the first thing she starts on is how I need to dress girly and grow my hair out. She hates that I'm not a stereotypical girl like my younger cousin and makes it a point to show me how much she hates my choices. It's gotten to the point where I don't even see her anymore because she hates the person I am. Surprisingly I think my dad knows that I'm transgender because he makes it a point to never refer to me as female and doesn't question anything I do. Which is shocking because he's a stereotypical redneck. I mean all he wears is camouflage, he hunts and goes fishing, he listens to country music and bluegrass but surprisingly he isn't very religious and neither is my mom. I was also really shocked because he's accepting when it comes to gays or bisexuals. He even watched the Caitlyn Jenner story with me and that was a big shock because almost everyone in our community is extremely racist and anti-LGBT. There's only two openly bisexuals in our entire community. But of course my family is constantly ridiculed because we don't go to church and aren't Christians. My parents are atheist and I'm luciferian. (If you don't know what that is Google it) I've tried going to church and I hated it. Literally I've tried almost every religion I could and I just gave up on the traditional religions. (I respect anyone who is christian or any other religion they just aren't for me) Anyways I don't think anybody really reads this and if you do you probably don't want to hear me rant. But if you do read this and have any questions or anything I'd be happy to answer them.