Not a princess I wanna be a prince. (The story of a transgendered person)

Easter disaster

So I had to go to my grandmothers for Easter and it was a complete disaster. We got to her house and all of the food was gone. There was only two rolls left. My two cousins kept throwing giant temper tantrums even though one is 13 and the other is 6. Then one of my uncles kept poking and shaking me. Now I absolutely hate being touched and if someone even tries to touch me they end up getting punched or hit. Needless to say I almost broke my uncle's nose because of it. And I kept getting a bunch of crap from my family because I wore men's clothes and was actually comfortable for once in my life. The only good thing is I got a cool hat. But I kept getting these awkward questions about why I was wearing men's clothes and what happened to the little girl that had long blond hair at the age of four. I had to refrain from screaming at them all that I'm a boy but I held my tongue. My mom told to go ahead and tell them next time so maybe they'll shut up. I was actually surprised about that because she kept saying not to tell anyone and now she's telling me to tell people. It's shocked me how far she's came in supporting me. It went from her telling me it's just a phase to now telling me that I can tell anyone I want and as long as I'm happy and comfortable and that's all that matters in life. The only person I'll still need to tell though is my dad and he's extremely bigoted, racist, homophobic and transphobic. So needless to say I'm screwed on that part but I don't care because we don't get along anyways and never had. Anyways I seem to oddly enough be the tallest person in my entire family. I've had a huge growth spurt and now I'm taller than my grandfather and uncles. Which is pretty awesome and I've found a way to make my voice appear more masculine. Also I wrote a poem and thought I'd share it. It's one of the ways I show how I feel. Anyways here it is.
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Speak your mind don't hold it in. But then again don't tell your sins. Keep your demons hidden away. If anyone knew you won't see the day. Family says crazy, friends say what? Most of the doctors just call me a dunce. The darkness is scary, I always need a light. But sleep won't come unless with a fight. Hide under the blankets, seal the doors, keep the fan going so I won't hear the roars. There's someone watching but they aren't there. Maybe if I wave my hand it will clear the air. The voices tell me I'm worthless and small. I think they're right but I clench my jaw. My mom won't listen she always interrupts but teachers and doctors just brush me off. I'm scared of the voices because to me it's true but I suffer in silence because speaking is rude. You see I was always taught to be seen never heard. A child never talks but must listen to judgmental jeers. Saying something is back talk unless with your peers. Whenever I speak it's polite never crude. I know better than to say something rude. The one thing I want is to be able to speak my mind. Instead of always having to keep it inside. So now you know I want to escape but my mind is scared and my heart can't wait. My mind locked up is torture for me but the one thing I want most is to speak and be free.
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