Isabella (Liam Payne)

Chapter 11.

Chapter 11.

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*Liam*

Confidence. That inner feeling that reassures you that everything is okay. It's the feeling which makes you hold your head up, wear a big smile and just be happy.

For me I'm confident because I have supporting fans, a stable relationship and a one-of-a -kind job. I have the dream life , that's why I'm confident. Because no matter what I'll always have my stable life and high salary. These things are just a reassurance that I'm okay. That I'll always be okay which makes me confident.

But deep down, I feel like shit. I'm scared. I'm weak. I'm fragile. A single insult could make all the confidence go away, a simple comment could make me feel hopeless and make me hate myself.

I'm not Louis. I can't answer sassily to everything. I'm not that thick -skinned. I have feelings and I get hurt easily. Too easily.

I think this is how people are, they wear the best masks of confidence and courage to fool others. To fool themselves, people think that if they fake it then they'll achieve it. I'm not against that, it's quite impressive honestly. But to be in my shoes, to be surrounded by paparazzi who're waiting for one mistake to show to the whole world. You can't just "fake it", you have to achieve it and if you can't then you're screwed.

I'm fragile, I'm weak and I break easily. Deep down, I'm just like porcelain. One wrong move, one simple gesture could make me shatter completely. Revealing all the hidden feelings and insecurities.

"What are you making?" Isabella asked me her hands preoccupied with the piece of clay she was holding. I didn't know that she had some sort of a tree house in her back yard. When I got here this morning , she pulled me to the tree house with a bag of clay in her hands.

"I don't know." I answered her looking in confusion at the shapeless piece of clay I held in my hand. Maybe painting was not the only thing I couldn't do.

I looked at her as she was playing with it whilst digging her finger in different location. It was as if she knew what she was doing, it was amusing to watch. She was biting her bottom lip in concentration whilst looking ahead of her with her hands moving in speed light.

You know what the most dangerous part of your body is? Your brain. This is where all the lies, rumours and bad ideas develop. The ones about not being good enough, the ones about hating life and the ones which keep chanting that you're just a failure.

It's insane, really. We keep blaming others claiming that they're the ones who implant these ideas in our heads. They are the ones who make us insecure. They are the ones who push us to be suicidal.

In all honesty, we are the reason these ideas exist in the first place. We just plant the seed and the "people" do the rest. We're the ones who don't have confidence in ourselves, we're the ones who are afraid and scared. The "people" are just a minor factor in the process. We let them break us, we let them increase our insecurities. Because we already have the seed, because we don't have enough confidence.

That's me.

I toyed with the piece of clay in my hand trying to come up with an idea. It's crazy how my mind seems to hate anything related to arts. It's almost depressing.

"I'm done." The one fragile and weak Isabella giggled showing me her work of art. It was insane how these kids can forget about almost anything in just a few days. In a few days, she had already forgotten about her depressing story.