Hope is all you have when there's nothing left
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Skipping a couple weeks because I've been Ina. Rough patch with this story, please forgive me <3
Melanie's POV
It's almost over, and it's almost happening. School, the Navy. The corner of my eye met to Shawn focusing on his paper. He tapped his pencil against his desk quietly before answering the question. I was already done with the test, probably because i was so anxious. Anxious, anxiety.
Isn't that what it's all about? Not losing your chill? This medication, making me want to throw up all the time or even wanting to sleep forever. I had never told Shawn about this because I'd don't want to get bad again. He'd be angry if he found out, which results in bad. My breath lost its regular pattern. I cleared my throat and Shawn's eyes met with mine, my eyes ran to the paper I had already finished. I rewrote my name at the bottom right multiple times so he wouldn't notice I was staring. I swear, I'm not crazy.
Melanie Evans
Melanie Evans
Melanie Evans
"Please put your tests in the inbox and take a seat quietly, and wait for the bell to ring" my head shot up quickly from the sound of his voice, it was too loud for this awful quiet room.
I place my paper upside down in the box and went back to my seat. This time he was staring. My eyes met with his, he let out a soft chuckle and stuck out in tongue. I quickly glanced to my teacher who was on his computer. I ran my hand through my hair and sorted it out, tests = stress = messy hair. Simple.
The bell rung and the whole class ran out in a flash. Typical. I met Shawn at the football field of the school. Sweaty, shirtless boys ran past us. I'm glad I don't have gym right now. I need to tell him. But I don't want to, I don't want to say goodbye. He sat next to me on the bleacher.
"Tests are done, and I can finally perform again" Shawn exclaimed happy as could be. Shit.
"I have to tell you something"
"Mhm" he stuffed some fries in his mouth. I let him finish chewing.
"I'm gonna go in the Navy, after school so I can have some money for college" I blurted out.
"you said you were going to stay by me, what if I get on tour"
"I can't stick around you like some lost puppy, you are important to society. I'm a regular teenage girl, who wants to feel like that. I'm going to go into service, in Georgia"
"So you knew this was going to happen?" He stared down at the floor, I could easily tell he was upset.
"What?"
"I fell in love with you, and now out of nowhere you're going to leave-" he couldn't make I contact with me. I stayed silent for a moment.
"You knew it was going to happen too" a lump started to form in my throat.
"You're going to go on tour, and you're going to make millions of girls cry and you're going to be amazing. You can't have all that weight on your shoulders while still trying to love me the way you do now" i wiped my eyes so tears wouldn't come out. I'm not going to cry in front of him, I'll end up crying on him, I don't need to get even more attached to him... If that's possible.
"I don't want to stop loving you. I can't"
"Then don't. We don't have to break up. I trust you that we can keep a long distance relationship"
"But that's not enough"
"So it's not worth it?" I asked, almost offended
"It is, I'm sorry. I just feel so bad right now"
"Shawn you realize I'm not going now"
"Well yeah but the time we have now is priceless and we're wasting it on bleachers" I nodded my head and grabbed his hand.
"Then let's go"
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Cliffy <3
681 word count, oh wale it's short :(
YOU ARE READING
Anxiety| Shawn mendes
Fanfiction•romance• ** Not your average girl Melanie goes through many obstacles to find out if she belongs with her best friend, Melanie's dream to go in the Navy may get in the way of many things, a relationship?
