These Are My Confessions

These Are My Confessions (16):

I entered my psychiatrists' office as she was preparing for our meeting.

"Hello Robyn you look like your glowing."

"Thank you, I feel happier too." I said with a slight smile on my face.

"I assume you and your boyfriend worked out your differences." She walked over to her plush leather chair with her notebook and coffee.

"We are no longer together. For a couple days I was in the hospital after trying to take my own life. I couldn't take it anymore. Whenever I was with him he would be either this sweet loving guy that I could see a future with then when he drinks it gets bad. He physically and verbally abuses me. He has an art of making anyone feel... so low. Those nights I would just role up into a corner and cry. Then to make up to me he would buy me expensive gifts or we would make love all day. Usually I would forgive him."

"Why did you go back to him? You know what he was capable of why put yourself back into that situation?"

"I wish I had a logical answer... I really wish I did. Now I can't put all the blame on him, I also put my hands on him too. We were equally wrong. I think I stayed because I need love."

"Do you mind elaborating?"
"I was looking for someone to take his place. Watching someone you love someone die right in front of you is the most painful thing you could experience. Aiyden when I first met him was beautiful. He reminded me so much of him. His smile, smooth chocolate skin, those deep brown eyes, his power, the drive all reminded me of what I lost. I thought Aiyden would be the one to bring back what's been missing in my life." She handed me a box of tissue. I took one wiping my face.

"Where do the two of you stand?"

"We are friends now. I see him every day actually to make sure he is taking his medicine."

"If I were you I wouldn't continue this routine. He is a grown man and should be responsible for taking his own medication. Plus you deserve to have a life too, you are not the parent."

"Yes ma'am."

"I also feel it's best if you completely cut off all ties with him. This relationship was toxic in the beginning a friendship will only complicate things." I nodded my head. "How is everything else?"

"My family is doing wonderful. They are a little upset with me because while I was in the hospital for my suicide attempt, Aiyden wouldn't allow me to use my phone and at the hospital the only person I could receive calls from or call was him. Also me and my best friend are building a more intimate relationship."

"Are you with the new guy because you want to or is he your safety net?"

"I think I actually want to be with Ty. We've been best friends for years and we always had a connection past friendship." She looked down at her watch.

"I wish the best of luck to your new found relationship. I will see you in two weeks and remember what we talked about."

"I will." I took my bag and headed back to house. I walked in and started packing bags filled with all my stuff that I have and that he didn't buy me. While I was half way done I heard the doorbell ring. I got up and went to answer it.

"Hey beautiful I brought food." Aiyden said kissing my cheek before entering inside. He sat the food in the corner. I saw his eyes travel to the end of the hall where I had my clothes packed for when I left. "Where you going? Our trip isn't until three weeks."

"I can't be friends with you anymore. This relationship isn't going to work out so I'm moving out. I already found a place to stay. Also you have to take on your own. You are not a little kid." I went into my purse grabbing the house keys. "Here I won't be needing these." He started laughing while holding his sides.

"You are funny as shit. I almost believed your ass. Now come on before our food gets cold."

"I'm serious Aiyden. I'm done with you, I deserve to be happy just like you do." He looked at me with a cold stare.

"It's cute that you think you're leaving me Robyn."

"I think you should go."

"Bitch I'll leave when I want to leave this is my house. I paid for this bitch."

"Aiyden please go before I call the cops... You know what you're right this is your house, I'll leave." I went to the corner picking up my bags. He grabbed my arm holding a tight grip on it.

"I swear if you leave you will regret it." I yanked my arm away from him and walked out the door.

e!h;