It All Started Here (Harry fanfic) *Editing*

Chapter 38

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"Sandy, don't eat! You're fat enough!"  She laughed with her high pitch voice, making the group of people laugh along with her.

"But I'm hungry." I mumbled quietly after them when they made their way out from the cafeteria. I looked down at the food, and felt disgusted about it. "Or, I was..." 

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"Sandy?!" Harry shouted, and looked at me with wide eyes and horror in his face as he shook my shoulders.

"W-what?" I stammered, and looked around me. I was laying on the floor, and Harry was bending over me from the side. He looked shocked, and like he had been crying.

"You fainted, babe..." He sighed. "You said that you was hungry, then that you wasn't."

"Did I talk?" I widened my eyes, and he nodded. 

"What was it about?" He pleaded.

"I'll tell, in a while. But the floor is kinda hard." I laughed awkwardly, and tried to made him look happier, and not like someone just died. Which failed, massively!

He scooped me up in his arms, and sat down in the couch. I snuggled against his chest, and listened to his heart beat.

"What was it about?" He asked again, and stroke my back.

"It was about when I first started to starve." I whispered, and hid my face in his chest. He sighed, and continued to comfort me by stroking my back.

"When was the last time you ate today?" He said seriously. I didn't dare to even look up at him, knowing that my answer would disappoint him.

"I haven't eaten yet." I whispered.

"You can't stop eat again!" He said, raising his voice. "You can't!" I looked up at him, before standing up and looking at him confused.

"And why's that? 'Cause last time I checked, I'm not a baby!" I spat out. "I can take care of myself!"

"No you can't!" He shouted, and stood up as well. "If you had been able to take care of yourself, it wouldn't have even started! You would yet along come here! You doesn't sees this all as I do!" 

"Oh I don't?" I rolled my eyes.

"No, you don't!" He shouted, making me jump back.

"But last time I checked, I'm still alive!" I shouted back.

"Because your teacher stopped you!" He yelled.

"I know she did! And I wish that she didn't!" I shouted. He looked shocked about my answer, and his face looked sad.

"You didn't mean that..." He whispered, and tears started to run down his cheeks.

"Yes I do! I'm better off dead anyway!" I said frustrated.

"No you're not!" He cried.

"I'm not? Even your fans think so! I'm not a fucking princess, I'm a monster!" I cried out angry. He stood there speechless, and I broke down in tears. It wasn't soon until he sat down beside me, and hugged me tight.

"You're not a monster, love!" He whispered, while tears still ran down his face.

"I am!" I cried. "I can't get people to love me, I don't even know why you like me!" I sobbed.

"Calm down!" He mumbled, still crying. "Please stop crying." He said helpless with a frown.

"W-why does e-everyo-one hates-s me?" I cried in his chest.

"I don't hate you, my family don't hate you, the lads don't hate you! There's people who adore you." He whispered. "Please calm down." I nodded, sill crying, and I was shacking madly. "How about I run you a warm bath?" I nodded at him, and he dried the tears that was still streaming. 

"I-" I didn't get the words out, I just started to sob again.

"Sands, sweetie, calm down!" He placed me on his lap, and rocked me forwards and backwards. "Please tell me you didn't mean it." He pleaded. I could hear the pain in his voice, and I felt how my heart dropped.

"I'm not sure..." I whispered.

"You can't keep me out of this, I've told you that before. I won't be able to continue with life if you kill yourself." He whispered. I felt one of his tears drop down on my cheek, and my tears dropped down at his shirt.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, and the tears kept streaming.

"Don't say you're sorry, I know it's hard for you." He murmured. "I still love you."

"And I love you too."

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After I had taken that bath, and got dressed in one of Harry's big shirts, he made me hot chocolate. So, I now sat in the couch, leaning against him, with a cup of hot chocolate and we watched Titanic. And we both was bawling our eyes out.

We was wrapped up in a blanket, and Harry had his arms around my waist. I was freezing like mad after the bath, and Harry tried to make me warmer. I still thought of our fight, it was my fault... He's right, I can't take care of myself. 

"Sands, are you even listening?" I snapped out of my thoughts, and looked at him confused. 

"What?" He chuckled at me, and sighed.

"I said that I like this movie." He chuckled.

"Oh, yes, it's good." I agreed, and smiled faint.

"What are you thinking of sweetie?" He mumbled, and played with my hair.

"Nothing." I shrugged. He raised his eyebrows, before he shook his head slightly.

"I know you too well for that excuse, love!" I sighed, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm just over thinking..." I mumbled. "I'm sorry for earlier, you're right, I can't take care of myself."

"I'm sorry too, love. I shouldn't have yelled." He whispered, and rested his head on mine. "I love you, no matter what! Remember that."

"I love you too." I whispered, and closed my eyes.

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~Kinda... Weird chapter... A fight... Idk why, but it fitted! xD

I'm having some freaking anxiety attack or whatever it's called THREE DAYS LEFT OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!! Two days until I start the trip, or WE! :D Omg I promise y'all I'm breathing but IIIIIIIIIIIIIIH!!!!!! I'll hopefully get a good pic too xD 

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