The Secret Holder

X. Nerve Endings

I don't know how I ended up here. Although I do vaguely remember Scott dragging me out of bed and telling me he was going to drive me to school.
It's strange because I can feel myself moving, but at the same time it's like my mind has departed from my body, and I'm just a soulless corpse walking around.

"Lydia. Snap out of it." Scott tells me. He's trying to get me to "wake up". "You can't just be like this all day, or they'll know something's wrong!"

"I've been feeling too much all at the same time and I just want it to stop. Everything hurts and I wish I had the ability to turn off my pain receptors. What if I don't want to feel anymore, Scott?"

Scott doesn't say anything. He just looks at me sympathetically.

Scott's eyes twinkle when Kira walks into the room...she's good for him. It's not the same as with Allison, but I can see that she makes him happy.

Oh no...it's them again...her blond hair flips, and their fingers are intertwined. And he's wearing the burgundy flannel that...

My pulse is racing because he's walking over to us with her. I glance at Scott who noticeably widens his eyes at me. Walking away is the hardest part. If I could just say something to Stiles...but I can't. Things are better when no one knows, like Melissa said.

I try to not zone out the whole day. Why can't I think about school anymore? Before all my problems were centered around dating the captain of the lacrosse team, and acting stupid because that was my job as the popular narcissistic teenage girl. Now I'm just the town nutcase, no matter what anyone says. Even Stiles told me I was crazy at one point. And I believe him.

I want to believe I'm doing the right thing for him even though it feels wrong.
Instead of focusing on the guilt, I should try to find out what happened to Claudia. How did she die so suddenly? And how did she die within minutes of her telling me that she was here?

On my free period at one, I wander over to the library where I find a map of Beacon Hills. I try to remember where the telluric currents are. I know the clinic is on the list...but what else? I add in the power plant and the school as possibilities. I think about another idea, and I eventually decide to pencil in the Reserve. I mean, it's somewhat close to the hospital, and Claudia had to have passed through since she got there from the clinic.
How did she acquire such violent injuries in such a short time? Did she fall? If she had injured herself she wouldn't have tried to go to the hospital. If I had just called him, then maybe he could've seen his mother one last time...

My phone buzzes, and I see that Scott messaged me.
Where are you right now?
I try to reply as quickly as possible, since there's only twenty minutes left in this free period.
In the library...Why?

My mom told me something about last night that you should know.

My stomach lurches at the sight of the message.

Okay. Hurry up, the class is almost over.

I don't even want to think about what Scott found out, but I hope it answers my questions.
Five minutes later, Scott and Kira show up, looking flustered. Scott's hair is out of its normal gelled formation, and Kira has small bits of grass and dirt in her hair.
"We were under the bleachers and-" Kira begins.
"I don't want to know," I say in a sing-song voice. Both of them blush considerably. I give Scott an urgent glance. "Seriously. Now what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

Kira sneaks off to the textbook section, while Scott waits for her to get out of sight or hearing range.

"My mom said that Claudia was murdered. By a werewolf. But she said that the claws were not as long as a normal werewolf. So it would be more logical to assume that a were-"

"That a were-coyote did it." I finish his sentence, trying to search for that guilt I should feel, but I can't find it.