Kohnnie "I Love You."

I Love You Too.

"Are you serious?" Kyle said, angrily. "..Yes..." I said drawing back, just like a dog when threatened. I was so scared in that moment; it's like my whole world was about to crumble in front of me and I wasn't ready for it.

"Johnnie, I'm never going to break up with you. I'm here to help you through shit like this, I'm not just going to leave you. I'm not going to leave you here, hurting more than you already do. I love you, and nothing is ever going to change that, do you hear me? Nothing." Kyle yelled through the tears, his voice cracking here and there. I just looked at him and cried.

"Kyle," I paused for a few seconds and looked down, "I love you too, but I'm so scared that I'm not good enough for you to love me. I'm scared that you're going to get bored with me sooner or later and I don't want that to happen."

"Johnnie, babe, I'm never going to get bored with you. You're the only boy I want in my life. You're the only one I've ever wanted honestly. But I have to ask, why did you do this to yourself, Johnnie?" Kyle asked, wiping his tears away. He was starting to calm down now that we'd talked.

"Baby, it's stupid, it'd just be better off if I didn't say anything." I told him, looking at the ground. "Johnny please, it's going to bother me so much. Just tell me." Kyle pleaded. "Fine. I did it because, you know, I thought you were getting bored with me, plus all the hate on social media has been getting to me and it just really sucks." I confessed. It felt better to finally get that off of my chest but I knew Kyle was probably going to scream at me.

"No. Like I said, I'm never going to get bored with you. And we can get through the hate together but what made you think I was bored with you?" Kyle asked is a serious but sad tone. "You started to get distant.. So I thought you were getting bored.." I said, glancing down at my arm and regretting what I had done.

"I'm sorry... This is my fault, I shouldn't have stopped trying to make you feel like a person.. I thought you knew that I'm always going to love you." Kyle looked more depressed than I've ever seen. We rushed out the door crying and locked himself in the bathroom. I chased after him and banged my fist on the bathroom door. "Kyle, open the door!" I yelled. I'm guessing it woke Bryan up because he ran out of his room and ran to the bathroom.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" Bryan asked, running his fingers through his hair. "Fucking, Kyle locked himself in the bathroom and won't come out." I yelled. I had a pretty good idea what he was doing or about to do too... Once I had that realization, I snapped. "Kyle David Hall, open the fucking door!! I don't want you hurting yourself!" I slammed all my body weight against the door but it wasn't enough. "Johnnie..." A weak, muffled voice said from behind the door. "I'm sorry." Bryan and I heard a crashing noise from inside the bathroom. "Kyle!!" We both yelled.

Bryan tried his best to knock down the door while I called for help. "911, what's your emergency?" The lady in the other end asked. My voice was shaky and I could barely speak. "Johnnie.." Bryan sounded so hurt that just his voice was enough to make me cringe. I dreaded turning around but I had to. Kyle's arm had one long, vertical cut down it and he was bleeding so much. Plus his head was bleeding because I'm guessing he hit the counter when he fell.

"Hello?" The lady asked. I walked over to Kyle and dropped to my knees. "He's... Not breathing...." I cried as I listened to his heart, "But there's still a heart beat, please get here as fast as you can." I told the lady. "Do CPR on him until we get there and DO. NOT. STOP." She hung up the phone so I went straight to CPR. Bryan was pacing around the apartment and was starting to cry.

About 15 minutes later, the paramedics got here so Bryan ran down to the lobby of our apartment building and told them what room it was and they were up here in a few minutes.

"What's his name?" The paramedic asked in an urgent tone. "Kyle David Hall." I said as I started holding onto his hand. "Alright. And who are you?" The paramedic also asked. "I'm Johnnie Guilbert, his boyfriend." I frantically said, looking down at Kyle's lifeless body.  They put him on the stretcher and took him away from me. "Johnnie, you can come on the ambulance with him, come on." The paramedic said, rushing out of the door. I was very happy to hear that. I looked at Bryan and kind of apologized with my eyes and ran out the door with the paramedics. "God Kyle, please be okay." That's all I whispered to myself from then on.