Ember

27. Hours melt into days

Remi

Ember and I are free. The damp soil crushing under our paws, breeze blowing our fur back, the smell of the forest. Complete freedom. No Zaden, no trauma, no rules. Just us and nature. Inhaling the wood and earth scent as dirt sticks to my fur from the damp ground.

Rain drops begin to fall from the sky soaking my fur creating cold mud.

Taking a rest by a lake that we found, laying on the cool earth. Resting my eyes listening to all of the animals that inhabit these woods. A bird above me chirps for her young to eat. The rabbit drinking from the lake with ears held high. I never want to leave. There is no pain here, only instinct. Hunt when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty and sleep when you're tired. It is simple. The rain soothes every ache in my muscles.

A pange of guilt hits me. My pups. I'm sure they are missing me and I miss them for sure. I want to go back to them and snuggle them close. I'm struggling to go back to a group of wolves that isn't my pack. There are so many open wounds back there. I want the calm for a bit longer. Sleeping under the stars and running wild if I choose. I keep telling myself a few more minutes. Now I'm not sure how long it has been.

My eyes snap open. The sound of weight crushing the ground coming in my direction. A very large wolf walks out. I recognize those black smokey tendrils and those eyes with something hanging from his mouth.

Silas.

"Actually that is Abraxis, Silas is present too" Ember informs me.

Abraxis keeps eye contact moving slowly in my direction dropping the blankets at my paws, like he is stalking prey. I stay perfectly still on the ground to not start a game of chase that I do not want, his sent is alluring. His tendrils reach for me calling my flames to meet him. Fire swirls off my fur tangling itself with his smoke.

Looking me in my eyes with no restraint "shift" I hear him in my head. He is still above me and know I have to, I still resist.

Anyone who dares go against an order from the alpha king should be met with excruciating pain.

I feel nothing. Not even a small headache.

He snarls " I have been patient with you, I tried to leave you alone. You continue to hide your scent, continue to shove all of my help away. I am trying to help you. All I have done is try to help you from a distance. Life comes with pain and all I have done is try to ease it for you. You repay me by disappearing, your family is worried and I have been searching for 5 days. It is time to go back to your responsibilities."

He continues to watch me "If you let someone in they could help with all of this sorrow instead of burying it all"

Days? I have really turned a run into a days-long escape? I left my pups for days? What kind of mother just leaves and doesn't come back. Ember let's out a whimper realizing that our freedom cost my pups peace of mind and their mother. I allowed my past to take over and cause others pain.

Ember moves to a sitting position.

He is right, Silas spared my life in exchange for training and not hiding my scent. I have avoided his second request, when he could have just killed me instead like any other alpha would have.

I take a long breath and begin my shift.

I curl my arms around myself and put my forehead on my legs to hide my mud covered body and my embarrassment. Feeling the rain on my scalp through my soaked hair.

I sense and smell Silas moving closer slowly in human form, heat rises all over my body full of excitement but it is more than that. I am naked and exposed to him in every way. I wear my shame on my body just like this mud. Vulnerable and open.

The blanket he carried is heavy over my shoulders and back.

My heart is pulsating against my chest, all of my emotions are coming out at once. Overwhelming and damn near suffocating.

Lost in my own self destruction I didn't feel his hand moving in until it touches my jaw pulling my face up to look at him. His eyes are a mix of smoke and yellow.

"You don't have to be alone. I won't push you to do anything you don't want outside of our agreement. It will be easier with allies, a lone wolf without a pack is dangerous. Let us be your pack until you find your way." He isn't showing any emotions, but the eyes don't lie.

Putting my hand on his on my face I lean into his touch watching his expression soften. I don't know what this is between us. Something I can't explain deep inside scratching to break through. I crave him in a way that I have no right to.

I drop the blanket sitting up on my knees forcing me to look up at him as he straightens his back. Bringing our skin together, my breasts pressed against him, feeling his large excitement on my belly. He watches me closely. My shaking hands find his chest, feeling every muscle. This feeling is foreign to me, my body moving and making choices to match my thoughts.

Silas touches my hands " Remi"

The sound of my name rolling off his tongue makes my body ache in a way that can only be fixed by him. The need I have been feeling in my dreams and when I wake has returned. His hands gently cup my face leaning in, I can feel his breath on my lips.

Frim a short a distance "Remi-Rain! Alpha Remi-Rain Astrid!" Jake. He is looking for me.

Silas looks at me with hunger. Torn between what he wants and what needs to be done he releases me. Grabbing a blanket for himself and wrapping me in mine.

"Over here Beta Jacob!" His voice full of authority.

Jake and Angel come running through the woods hand in hand. He breaks their contact coming at me with great speed. Knocking the wind from me with a crushing hug.

I begin to sob "Jake I'm so sorry. I left you all, I am a failure. I'm so sorry"

Pulling me away to scoul at me
"Don't say that shit! After everything we went through you have stayed strong through everything, this is a misstep that can be handled as a family and the wolves we have here. We can heal and rebuild here if you allow it, stop hiding Remi show them who you really are. You need to forgive yourself for what isn't your fault, you can't run from this you have to go through it to the other side."

"I need more time Jake"

Silas steps back in view " three weeks. I will give you three weeks to recover and think about what you want to do, after that if you don't stop hiding your scent we will have a very different conversation. We have shown you we can be trusted, it's your turn."

Shifting back into his wolf he disappears into the woods leaving me in the rain.