Dominated (Obsessed II)

40.

Jude Bellingham
The Moment I Prepared For

The second I saw her, I understood how dangerous memory could be. She was standing there, looking towards the road every few seconds as if she was afraid that if she looked away for too long, I might never come. The sight of her should have made me feel relief. Instead, something cold settled beneath my ribs.

I had spent so long waiting for this day, seeing her again should have felt like the end of something.

It didn't. It felt like the beginning. She saw me before I could say anything. Her entire face changed, and then she was running toward me.

I barely had time to brace myself before she threw her arms around my neck. I caught her automatically, my hands finding her waist as she wrapped herself around me. She was crying against my shoulder, laughing through it, saying my name like she'd been saving it for years.

"Jude."

I held her tighter.

For one terrible second, I remembered what it had been like before I knew the truth. Before the things I'd found or the things that found me. Before I'd understood exactly who I had been protecting.

I closed my eyes.

"I'm here."

She pulled back, her hands coming to my face. Her eyes were wet, and she looked at me with a happiness that made it difficult to hold her gaze for too long.

"You're here."

I nodded.

"I am."

"I thought you weren't coming."

"You thought wrong sweetheart."

She laughed, wiping beneath her eyes. "You took so long."

"I know. I'm sorry."

That was the safest thing I could say. She looked at me as though the apology meant something more. As though it erased everything that had happened between us.

Then she kissed me and I let her.

My hands moved to her face as her mouth found mine, and for a few seconds I allowed myself to disappear into the familiarity of it. I remembered loving this woman. I remembered believing that nothing could ever make me stop.

But memory wasn't truth.

When she pulled away, our foreheads rested together. Her breathing was uneven. So was mine.

"You're really here," she whispered.

I brushed my thumb beneath her eye.

"You're crying."

"So are you."

I gave her a small smile. We crying for different reasons.

"I know."

She wrapped her arms around me again, and I held her because there was no reason not to. Not yet. I needed her comfortable, I needed her to feel safe. Most importantly, I needed her to believe that nothing had changed.

She rested her cheek against my chest, and I stared over her shoulder at the road behind her.

Everything had changed.

She lifted her head.

"I love you."

The words came easily to her. They didn't come to me. I looked at her, trying to find the woman I'd once known beneath everything I had learned. She was still there, somewhere. But I wasn't sure, I could only hope. That's if she ever existed at all. My mind was a mess.