The Foster

15

I felt a yank on my heart as Journey yanked on Ricky's hand. I knew she was pissed, who wouldn't be? I fucked up. And now she was gone with my best friend to who the hell knows where.

Nobody seemed to notice and if they did, nobody seemed to care. But me. Why did I care anyway? Why did I notice? Journey is nothing but another one of my moms 'dumb kids', just like Jacob and Elliot and Sabrina. But that's the thing, she was nothing like Jacob or Elliot or Sabrina. She was different, dangerous and that intrigued me. Andrea was nothing like the girl with the short pink hair and the crooked smile. Andrea was just like journey had said "desperate for attention" and I just realized now that I didn't want someone who was desperate for attention I wanted someone who would play hard to get but you could secretly see in their eyes that they really did want you, or someone who had to hide her real self and you had to dig around for ages to find the real her and once you did, you would thank god every night that you waited because you can't just pass up someone like that.  I wanted journey.

I looked over toward the lifeguard stand and saw a couple, they were kissing and the guy had her body pushed against the tower and his hands tangled in her sandy brown hair. She grasped his shoulders and pulled on him begging him for more of his kiss. I sure felt like a perv for watching but I couldn't take my eyes off. The way he pulled on her hips and she yanked at his hair. So desperate for each others lips.

I had never felt that way before and I sure as hell wanted to.

People began to scatter and go to who knows where and eventually it was just me and Andrea at the fire.

"I can't do this" I whisper and Andrea looks over at me "it's journey isint it" she asks and I look at the stars.

"I don't really know"

"You know that connection we had when we kissed" she asks and I nod not really knowing

"I don't feel it anymore"

"Andrea"

"Yea"

"I think we are done" she nods sadly and I get up from the sand helping her up

"Goodbye Kian" she walks down the beach kicking sand.

I look over at the water seeing the waves crashing slowly on the shore as the moon reflects over the black water.

I begin to walk up to my car that just a few hours ago journey and I were singing in.

I unlock the doors and stare at the seat next to me sadly as I wipe it seeing she left her phone.

I pick the cold electronic up and turn it on as I see a picture of us as the screensaver and smile. Her old hair washed over her face as she gives me a crazy look and I make the crab face.

I laugh and put it in the center console.

Driving home I listen to nothing as the sound of the ocean crashing and seagulls smooth me. The soft engine rumbles as I pull into the gravel.

I walk in and shut the door "mom?" I ask. No answer as I walk into the kitchen

'Had to work late, you two stay out of trouble. See you later'

I crinkle the note

"Journey?" I ask and no one replies. I angrily turn on the tv.

As I'm sitting there I hear a knock on the door. I jump up and run to the hall sliding on the wood floors.

I race to the front door as I unlock it.
I see her all wet and lonely like a sad puppy.

She goes to push past me and I stop her shutting the door.

"What the hell Kian let me in its pouring out here" 

"I don't care" she rolls her eyes and they meet mine. They look like the ocean we saw earlier this afternoon, but darker and more mysterious. Her hairs still tied back and her dark makeup is smeared down her face.

"What" she asks annoyed

I admire every piece of her, "please tell me you felt it too"  I say so quietly that I don't even think I said anything

"What do you mean. Felt what"

"You know what I mean journey" she shakes her head

"Kian in the water out there today when you held me I could hear your heart and mine stopped, because from the second I laid my eyes on you I knew. I knew that I wanted you to be the one to teach me everything there is to know in life. I couldn't swim and you taught me, I couldn't work a phone and you taught me, I couldn't dance and you taught me. I couldn't love and your teaching me."

Her voice catches and i realize I'm also now soaked. The thunder cracks and I reach for her.

I take the back of her neck and her hip and pull her to me as our lips collide. She grabs my back and pulls on me, I taste her cherry lip balm and peppermint gum.

I feel the way that couple did on the beach. Desperate for her kiss.

Since the second I saw her I wanted this.

And now that it's happening.

Am I ready?