We spent the whole night talking about me, of course I'm the new incomer here
Trisha mentioned having a son who happens to be a singer in a boyband called One Direction, I heard of them before but I don't fancy them
I neither know their names nor looks.
"Are you a directioner?" A soft small voice breaks my thoughts, Safaa asks from beside me and I look at her genuinely confused, " what's that?!"
The minute I spit these words, all eyes on me, jaws dropped to the floor in shock and I can feel the heat raising in my cheeks and reaching the tips of my ears, I tried to cover up tho.
"Oh wait"I breath out a small laugh and look at Safaa " do u mean, a DIRREECTONAAR?" I said the word in the most weird accent and I doubt it exist "of course I am" I smiled and gulped hoping my shitty lie will get to them
Hopefully, it does when I see them all breath out and chuckle
That's awkward as fuck, I have no tiny idea what the directioner is, but I'm certain it's not a person.
"I thought so, who is your favorite!" She smiles widely at the information of me being a directioner
I'm in trouble, someone tell me what's going on in here!!
"Ummm...it is..-*my phone rings cutting me off at the right time
HALLELUJAH!
"Excuse me I have to get this"I stand up and walk out to the balcony while taking a look at the ID
It's Chace.
"I love you so much you are the best person on this planet, Chace, you saved my life"I breath out and closed my eyes placing my hand on the rail
"What? Why? What happened?? Are you okay Maria??" I can spot concern in his voice and I smile slightly , he does care , awe
"Yes Chace I am don't worry but I almost embarrassed myself in front of the new neighbors , I just met them and... Dude, what is the definition of the word Directioner " I ask and curious to know the answer.
There is a pause, he's probably confused or shocked, everybody is shocked.
"Umm it's a fandom, a fandom for the band One direction "
One direction, Directioner, Trisha Malik, Zayn Malik, singer , boyband
Okaaaaay now I get it!!
"Oh yes okay now it make sense"
"What does make sense?" He clear his throat and breath out
"Well you know I mentioned our neighbors who I just met and the lady happen to have a son on that one direction boyband, so his sister asked me I'm a directioner or not, never mind , I'll just google them now and know more about them, just in order to not embarrass myself" I pushed my hair to the back and shifted my weight on one leg
"Don't." He said
"What? Why not ?" I knitted my brows confused
"You won't... You won't like the results."
I opened my mouth to reply but my mother's voice breaks in "Maria?"
I turned and looked at her, popping her head out of the door checking if I'm there or not and I can see fear in her eyes mixed with worry
"Hold on" I said to Chace and removed the phone from my ear placing my free hand on the speaker as I talk to mum "yes mom Im right here"
She steps in and breath out closing her eyes for a second then look at me and crack a smile " you okay?"
"Yes mummy" I smile assuringly , I know exactly what she's thinking, of course, what happened that year is not forgotten, it can't be. "I'm actually in the phone with Chace"
"Oh okay, tell him to come over sometimes I miss him, and... Don't stand outside for so long, it's quite uncomfortable " she said uneasiness clear I her voice and I nod
When she walked in I placed the phone in my ear" Chace, I'm sorry I need to go right now, I will see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yeah sure, see ya"he hung up and I walked in the house again and straight to my beloved bedroom, I'm still thinking about one direction, why not google them? What are the results? Why aren't I going to be pleased ? It's just a boyband!!
But I trust Chace , I'm not going to google them
I'm not so curious, bingo!
I opened the door and there is my childhood sweet bedroom
My spongy bed, my soft blanket, my soft pillow, fluffy unicorn , my small bra.
"Okay, what the hell is that? Why the hell my bra is on the ground?" I grabbed it and shoved it on the drawer.
I'm pleased, in smiling without noticing , I took a seat on the bed and moved my hand on the blanket , I decided to lie down and I did, it feels so good , I pulled the purple pillow from under my head and placed it on my chest hugging it,my favorite pillow, the one that hides memories, the one that got drown in my tears and blood.
Not period blood if that's what you're thinking.
I inhale the pillow letting the Altamond perfume to fill my lungs, I close my eyes and I see a lot of things, faces, body, weapons, everything, everybody and every single move
The thing that I'm certain of right now that, the girl who used to live here is dead .
The innocent child is dead, the sweet happy girl is gone and replaced by miserable, awkward, fragile girl.
It feels like she is from a different world, a different people living with her, the girl with scars all over her stomach and back, all over her body I may say.
The young lady who was happy and as clear as new glass is now miserable, damaged, full of cuts and scars,why? Nobody knows why.
Maybe the crazy world changed her.
Maybe the darkness filled her heart and soul.
Maybe monsters dragged her down.
Maybe the luck refused to take her hand and drive her to happiness.
A lot of maybes but which one is true?
Nobody knows either.
I raise my top and run my cold fingertips on the old cuts that I earned 3 years ago, it mentally hurts me to touch the scars or better to say touch the memories and make them move inside my brain, the memories of killing the happy person inside of me and suck every single form of life from every single angle in my soul
The memories of cutting off my skin because of a lame reason; jealousy.
I lost myself between crazy woman and stubborn girl I didn't know I may be until then , because of a blond baby-faced demon who turned the flame on and left, leaving a war behind his back, soon later his bitch followed after him leaving wrecked, damaged young girl behind their backs, sleeping under the pile of disasters.
All because of the blond. A blond that I swear I will never forgive as long as my lungs are taking air and letting it out.
A blond demon with invisible tail and thorns and sharp long nails that can cut u without touching.
A blond.
YOU ARE READING
Internal Conflict.
FanfictionI wrapped my arms around his neck, staring at his eyes as my heart squeezed itself his arms were around my waist swaying in a rhythm with the beat he has asked for this dance, but we were silent, eyes were screaming but tongues were tied. he gave me...
