Senseless

Chapter Eighteen

Miley's p.o.v

I walked back to my room to get my stuff together and figure what I was going to do next. This was the first time in a long time that I didn't have a plan for what was going to happen next and I kind of liked that.

I packed up my things and made sure to text my crew to make sure that they would be ready to leave this afternoon. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, let alone where I was going to go. I had good connections in Miami and I knew I could easily get on a private jet over there, I was just afraid to make the call.

"Miley," I heard Jason's voice. I looked up to see that he was standing in my doorway. He shut and locked the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" I asked before standing up from the couch.

"I want to talk before you leave." Jason said shoving his hands in his pocket. His breathing was uneven and his gaze was short. He couldn't look me in the eyes, so his eyes stayed focused on the floor.

"Okay..." I trailed looking at him. I couldn't understand why he was so closed off.

"Okay," he said with a nod. He walked over to the couch and sat down. He placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. It was just like last night, but different. He didn't seem as confused.

"Well," I said clearing my throat in hope that the conversation would begin.

"I don't really know where to start," his voice cracked. "I just can't get control of myself." He shook his head.

"I really like you and its really fucking with my head." He grunted pulling at his hair.

"What?" I asked. I wasn't expecting that, at all. I sat down next to him and watched his body tense up at my sudden movement.

"I know, it's fucked up. I fucking hate you but I fucking really like you." He chuckled. "I shouldn't, I shouldn't like you." He said shaking his head.

"Jason, I," I started before sighing.

"I know," he sighed. "I haven't liked a girl since Lauren, and she really fucked me over, and I get it. But, for the first time in a long time, she isn't the one who I think about. She isn't the first person that I look for in a room full of people, its you. I have tried to avoid this conversation, and avoid what I am feeling, but that is what I always do and it hasn't really been working out for me." He continued. I could tell he was being genuine.

"I'm just as fucked up, Jason." I said honestly. "I can't have feelings for anyone. I can't even remember the last time that I felt something for anyone. I am completely numb and that has made being in this business so much easier for me. So, I can't have feelings for you and I don't think that you want me too." I shook my head.

"I'm fucked up and not girlfriend material, whatsoever." I sighed.

"I mean, I have felt things and I wouldn't say that say that I am numb, but I would say that I am fucked up too. I'm not boyfriend material, and that's why Lauren and I didn't work out. I can't be tied down, and I can't imagine a time that I will ever want to be tied down." He continued pulling at his hair. He was frustrated and I was numb which was the perfect combination.

"I know," I agreed. I placed my hand on his back trying to sooth him. His muscles slowly relaxed at my touch.

He sat up and faced me. His eyes tore through mine, as if he was trying to find out my deepest, darkest, secrets. It scared me slightly. I didn't like the idea of being vulnerable in someone's eyes. But his eyes were different, they were soft, almost loving.