Senseless

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jason's p.o.v

I wasn't sure where this conversation was going to go but I knew that we needed to talk, or I needed to talk.

"Miley, I know that I hurt you and I hurt myself in the process." I sighed. I had a script in my head but the moment I opened my mouth it was gone.

"Shit," It muttered before running my hands roughly through my hair.

"I get it," she spoke softly. I looked over at her. Her face was soft almost sad looking. I knew it had to be the pain that I had caused her.

"We aren't good for one another. I am not good for you and you aren't good for me." She sighed as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"It doesn't have to be that way." I said before moving closer to her.

"No, Jason." She shook her head. "It has to be that way. I got so caught up in my emotions and feelings that I completely lost sense of myself. I thought I could handle myself and I thought I could be strong, but I wasn't any of those things. I got so caught up with you that I didn't even see what I was becoming. I am not the kind of girl that lets her emotions and feeling over rule all her logically sense. You aren't good for me. When I am with you, I am senseless." She said as she kept her eyes on the ground.

"What about me?" I asked lowly. Maybe that was selfish maybe this whole situation was selfish on both sides.

"For you, strangely, it's the opposite. I don't understand that but that is how it is. You are completely different then me. You are completely senseless when you are not around me but the moment we get close you have to jump ten feet away from me because you are scared. I get why and I am scared too. This also makes me not good for you. When I am around you are sane but you are also scared and after a while it makes you paranoid. You and I both know that you can't be paranoid in this type of business."

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear any of it. Mostly because she was right. I had ignored it because that was the only thing that I knew how to do.

"I don't want to not be with you." I sighed.

"I'm sorry," Miley shook her head, "but you know that I am right." She said looking at me for the first time since this conversation had started.

"We can make this work." I said taking another step towards her.

"No, we can't. Jason, we have tried this before. We tried to be fuck buddies and look what happened. You threw me away the second things got scary. We can't do that again. I can't go through that again and neither can you."

"I fucking hate this." I said as the anger started to rise within me.

I didn't want this to happen. I wanted to be with her. I didn't want her to be right. I couldn't handle the truth.

That is why I lost a lot of friends. I couldn't handle the truth because of my anger. I wish I could change this. I wish I could change everything, but I can't. So here I am, alone.

I watched as Miley walked back into the house and I stayed outside. What was I going to do? I couldn't be around her and not have her. I had to leave.

"Jason?" Lewis asked as he walked out of the house. I didn't acknowledge him mostly because I didn't know how or what to say.

"Is everything okay?" He asked walking up behind me.

"No," I breathed, "nothing is okay." I shook my head and rubbed my eyes.

"I'm sorry Jason." He said placing his hand on my shoulder. I shook his hand off.

"Don't." I said facing him. "I will stay until this meeting is done. Once it is over, I am out of here." I said looking fiercely at him. I was angry and I would forever be angry.

"Okay," he nodded taking a step back. "I will tell the rest of the gang." He said walking back into the house.

After a few more minutes alone I went back into the house and up into my room. I knew that this would be an over the top event and that scared the hell out of me. It scared me because of her.

I went upstairs and locked myself inside my room.

Miley's p.o.v

"I feel bad," I sighed. I was currently in the basement working out with Fringe.

"Don't feel bad," he said as he added more weighs to his bar.

He was stronger then I thought. He was older then Jason but younger then Lewis and he had a nice body. If I was into older men, then I would totally chase him down. He looked like Ryan Reynolds only stronger and darker hair. God I can be such a slut.

"Then how should I feel?" I asked as I got off the treadmill.

"I don't know. What you did, you had to do. Everything you said to him was the truth. Maybe one day the both of you can be together." He said stopping what he was doing and looking at me.

"You need to take it easy. Go get a snack and some water." He said. He bossed me around and I let him because he wasn't the type of person that I wanted to fight with.

Fringe has done nothing but look after me and I consider him a brother. I looked up to him and I valued his advice because most of the time, if not all, he was right.

I went up to the kitchen and grabbed and apple and cold water bottle.

"We leave tonight." Jon said walking into the kitchen.

"Yes, we do." I said before biting into my apple.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. It seemed as though everyone was worried about me and I hated it. I just didn't want to fight it.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes.

"Liar," he said sitting next to me at the counter top.

"I'll be better once everything is over. Then its off to the next adventure whatever the hell that might be." I said with a sigh.

"It will be over soon." He smiled softly.

"Yeah," I stood up from the counter top. "I am going to finish getting ready." I said before leaving the kitchen.

I wasn't sure that I was emotionally prepared but I didn't have much of a choice.